The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Volume 01 — Jean-Jacques Rousseau — John Shaqi
The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Volume 01
Jean-Jacques Rousseau · en
Having learned my resolution, he hastened to the spot I had appointed,
not, however, to dissuade me from it, but to render my flight agreeable,
by some trifling presents, as my own resources would not have carried me
far. He gave me among other things, a small sword, which I was very
proud of, and took with me as far as Turin, where absolute want
constrained me to dispose of it. The more I reflect on his behavior at
this critical moment, the more I am persuaded he followed the
instructions of his mother, and perhaps his father likewise: for, had he
been left to his own feelings, he would have endeavored to retain, or
have been tempted to accompany me; on the contrary, he encouraged the
design, and when he saw me resolutely determined to pursue it, without
seeming much affected, left me to my fate. We never saw or wrote to each
other from that time; I cannot but regret this loss, for his heart was
essentially good, and we seemed formed for a more lasting friendship.
Before I abandon myself to the fatality of my destiny, let me contemplate
for a moment the prospect that awaited me had I fallen into the hands of
a better master. Nothing could have been more agreeable to my
disposition, or more likely to confer happiness, than the peaceful
condition of a good artificer, in so respectable a line as engravers are
considered at Geneva. I could have obtained an easy subsistence, if not
a fortune; this would have bounded my ambition; I should have had means
to indulge in moderate pleasures, and should have continued in my natural
sphere, without meeting with any temptation to go beyond it. Having an
imagination sufficiently fertile to embellish with its chimeras every
situation, and powerful enough to transport me from one to another, it
was immaterial in which I was fixed: that was best adapted to me, which,
requiring the least care or exertion, left the mind most at liberty; and
this happiness I should have enjoyed. In my native country, in the bosom
of my religion, family and friends, I should have passed a calm and
peaceful life, in the uniformity of a pleasing occupation, and among
connections dear to my heart. I should have been a good Christian, a
good citizen, a good friend, a good man. I should have relished my
condition, perhaps have been an honor to it, and after having passed a
life of happy obscurity, surrounded by my family, I should have died at
peace. Soon it may be forgotten, but while remembered it would have been
with tenderness and regret.
Instead of this--what a picture am I about to draw!--Alas! why should I
anticipate the miseries I have endured? The reader will have but too
much of the melancholy subject.