The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Volume 05 — Jean-Jacques Rousseau — John Shaqi
The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Volume 05
Jean-Jacques Rousseau · en
I am ignorant whether Anet perceived the full extent of our union; but I
am inclined to think he was no stranger to it. He was a young man of
great penetration, and still greater discretion; who never belied his
sentiments, but did not always speak them: without giving me the least
hint that he was acquainted with our intimacy, he appeared by his conduct
to be so; nor did this moderation proceed from baseness of soul, but,
having entered entirely into the principles of his mistress, he could not
reasonably disapprove of the natural consequences of them. Though as
young as herself, he was so grave and thoughtful, that he looked on us as
two children who required indulgence, and we regarded him as a
respectable man, whose esteem we had to preserve. It was not until after
she was unfaithful to Anet, that I learned the strength of her attachment
to him. She was fully sensible that I only thought, felt, or lived for
her; she let me see, therefore, how much she loved Anet, that I might
love him likewise, and dwell less on her friendship, than on her esteem,
for him, because this was the sentiment that I could most fully partake
of. How often has she affected our hearts and made us embrace with
tears, by assuring us that we were both necessary to her happiness!
Let not women read this with an ill-natured smile; with the temperament
she possessed, this necessity was not equivocal, it was only that of the
heart.
Thus there was established, among us three, a union without example,
perhaps, on the face of the earth. All our wishes, our cares, our very
hearts, were for each other, and absolutely confined to this little
circle. The habit of living together, and living exclusively from the
rest of the world, became so strong, that if at our repasts one of the
three was wanting, or a fourth person came in, everything seemed
deranged; and, notwithstanding our particular attachments, even our
tete-a-tete were less agreeable than our reunion. What banished every
species of constraint from our little community, was a lively reciprocal
confidence, and dulness or insipidity could find no place among us,
because we were always fully employed. Madam de Warrens always
projecting, always busy, left us no time for idleness, though, indeed,
we had each sufficient employment on our own account. It is my maxim,
that idleness is as much the pest of society as of solitude. Nothing
more contracts the mind, or engenders more tales, mischief, gossiping,
and lies, than for people to be eternally shut up in the same apartment
together, and reduced, from the want of employment, to the necessity of
an incessant chat. When every one is busy (unless you have really
something to say), you may continue silent; but if you have nothing to
do, you must absolutely speak continually, and this, in my mind, is the
most burdensome and the most dangerous constraint. I will go further,
and maintain, that to render company harmless, as well as agreeable, it