The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Volume 06 — Jean-Jacques Rousseau — John Shaqi
The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Volume 06
Jean-Jacques Rousseau · en
O! if souls disengaged from their terrestrial bonds, yet view from the
bosom of eternal light what passes here below, pardon, dear and
respectable shade, that I show no more favor to your failings than my
own, but equally unveil both. I ought and will be just to you as to
myself; but how much less will you lose by this resolution than I shall!
How much do your amiable and gentle disposition, your inexhaustible
goodness of heart, your frankness and other amiable virtues, compensate
for your foibles, if a subversion of reason alone can be called such.
You had errors, but not vices; your conduct was reprehensible, but your
heart was ever pure.
The new-comer had shown himself zealous and exact in all her little
commissions, which were ever numerous, and he diligently overlooked the
laborers. As noisy and insolent as I was quiet and forbearing, he was
seen or rather heard at the plough, in the hay-loft, wood-house, stable,
farm-yard, at the same instant. He neglected the gardening, this labor
being too peaceful and moderate; his chief pleasure was to load or drive
the cart, to saw or cleave wood; he was never seen without a hatchet or
pick-axe in his hand, running, knocking and hallooing with all his might.
I know not how many men's labor he performed, but he certainly made noise
enough for ten or a dozen at least. All this bustle imposed on poor
Madam de Warrens; she thought this young man a treasure, and, willing to
attach him to herself, employed the means she imagined necessary for that
purpose, not forgetting what she most depended on, the surrender of her
person.
Those who have thus far read this work should be able to form some
judgment of my heart; its sentiments were the most constant and sincere,
particularly those which had brought me back to Chambery; what a sudden
and complete overthrow was this to my whole being! but to judge fully of
this, the reader must place himself for a moment in my situation. I saw
all the future felicity I had promised myself vanish in a moment; all the
charming ideas I had indulged so affectionately, disappear entirely; and
I, who even from childhood had not been able to consider my existence for
a moment as separate from hers, for the first time saw myself utterly
alone. This moment was dreadful, and those that succeeded it were ever
gloomy. I was yet young, but the pleasing sentiments of enjoyment and
hope, which enliven youth, were extinguished. From that hour my
existence seemed half annihilated. I contemplated in advance the
melancholy remains of an insipid life, and if at any time an image of
happiness glanced through my mind, it was not that which appeared natural
to me, and I felt that even should I obtain it I must still be wretched.