The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Volume 10 — Jean-Jacques Rousseau — John Shaqi
The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Volume 10
Jean-Jacques Rousseau · en
means of this key I crossed it several times with her; but I did not like
unexpected meetings, and when Madam de Verdelin was by chance upon our
way I left them together without speaking to her, and went on before.
This want of gallantry must have made on her an impression unfavorable to
me. Yet when she was at Soisy she was anxious to have my company. She
came several times to see me at Mont Louis, without finding me at home,
and perceiving I did not return her visit, took it into her head, as a
means of forcing me to do it, to send me pots of flowers for my terrace.
I was under the necessity of going to thank her; this was all she wanted,
and we thus became acquainted.
This connection, like every other I formed; or was led into contrary to
my inclination, began rather boisterously. There never reigned in it a
real calm. The turn of mind of Madam de Verdelinwas too opposite to
mine. Malignant expressions and pointed sarcasms came from her with so
much simplicity, that a continual attention too fatiguing for me was
necessary to perceive she was turning into ridicule the person to whom
she spoke. One trivial circumstance which occurs to my recollection will
be sufficient to give an idea of her manner. Her brother had just
obtained the command of a frigate cruising against the English. I spoke
of the manner of fitting out this frigate without diminishing its
swiftness of sailing. "Yes," replied she, in the most natural tone of
voice, "no more cannon are taken than are necessary for fighting."
I seldom have heard her speak well of any of her absent friends without
letting slip something to their prejudice. What she did not see with an
evil eye she looked upon with one of ridicule, and her friend Margency
was not excepted. What I found most insupportable in her was the
perpetual constraint proceeding from her little messages, presents and
billets, to which it was a labor for me to answer, and I had continual
embarrassments either in thanking or refusing. However, by frequently
seeing this lady I became attached to her. She had her troubles as well
as I had mine. Reciprocal confidence rendered our conversations
interesting. Nothing so cordially attaches two persons as the
satisfaction of weeping together. We sought the company of each other
for our reciprocal consolation, and the want of this has frequently made
me pass over many things. I had been so severe in my frankness with her,
that after having sometimes shown so little esteem for her character, a
great deal was necessary to be able to believe she could sincerely
forgive me.
The following letter is a specimen of the epistles I sometimes wrote to
her, and it is to be remarked that she never once in any of her answers
to them seemed to be in the least degree piqued.
MONTMORENCY, 5th November, 1760.