The estrangement between his mother and himself began to widen now that
they were thrown constantly together. By arrangement, he dined daily
with her, and came to her receptions. But Schopenhauer was {20} too
uncontrolled in his temper, and too uncompromising in his egoism to
make an agreeable companion. His mother, driven to write to him,
asserts that his constant grumbling, gloomy looks, and intolerant
dogmatism depress her. It is necessary to her happiness to know that
he is happy, but not necessary that she should be a witness to it.
Therefore, if they are to agree they must consent to live apart. Both
mother and son were bent on self-development, and in character were too
dissimilar to understand each other. Schopenhauer was jealous,
uncontrolled in his moods, and boorish in his manners. That
all-consuming egoism, which all his life spoiled his relations with
everyone with whom he came in contact, made a congenial family life
impossible. He resented his mother's freedom and independence, and
insulted her friends. In a way that is very characteristic of him, he
generalises from his own personal experience, and in his views on women
we find reflected all the bitterness which had grown round the
relations between himself and his mother.
In 1809 he attained his majority, and received his share of his
father's fortune, amounting to about £150 a year. He was now
independent, and could pursue the career he had marked out for himself.
He valued all his life the liberty which this competency secured him.
A draft dedication, intended for the second edition of _The World as
Will and Idea_, was addressed "to the _manes_ of my father. Noble,
beneficent spirit! to whom I owe everything that I am.... As thou
didst bring into the world a son such as I am, thou didst also make
provision that in a world like this, such a son should be able to
subsist and to develop himself.... In my mind the tendency to its only
proper vocation was too decidedly implanted to let me {21} do violence
to my nature, and so to subjugate it that, recking nought of existence
in general, and active only for my personal existence, it should find
its sole task in procuring daily bread.... Thou seemest to have
foreseen that thy son, thou proud republican, could not possess the
talent to compete in cringing before ministers and councillors,
Mæcenases, and their advisers, basely to beg for the hard-earned piece
of bread, or to flatter self-conceited commonplaceness, and humbly join
himself to the eulogistic retinue of bungling charlatans.... That I
could expand the forces nature gave me and apply them to their destined
purpose, that I could follow my natural instinct and think and work for
beings without number, while no one does anything for me, for that I
thank thee, my father, thank thy activity, prudence, thrift, and
provision for the future."