But he remembered posterity and pressed on ] [Illustration: Here we see him handing the relic down to posterity. ] [Illustration: In after years posterity handed it over to an obnoxious female relative, who irreverently used it as a candlestick. ] [Illustration: On one occasion obnoxious female relative imprudently went to sleep, allowing the candle to burn low in its socket. ] [Illustration: Need we say that posterity’s obnoxious female relative got what she had often given him,—a severe blowing up? ] _CHAPTER XXV._ THIS HISTORY DABBLES IN POLITICS MUCH AGAINST ITS WISHES—PRELIMINARY OBSERVATIONS—A CHAPTER OF ACCIDENTS AND PRESIDENTS—“LIVES OF GREAT MEN ALL REMIND US.” We have always from childhood’s hour instinctively recoiled from politics, and have thus far managed to keep out of Congress. If with equal success we can manage to keep out of jail for the rest of our natural existence we shall feel that life has not altogether been a failure. (This is what is called genuine broad American humor. If the reader can find nothing in it to excite his risibilities after a reasonable trial his money will be refunded.) When it first reached the ears of the present Administration through the Librarian of Congress, to whom we applied for a copyright, that we were about to publish a history of our native land, we received per return mail a letter signed by the Administration, asking us if we would accept the appointment of U. S. Minister to the South Sea Islands. This office had just been made vacant by the circumstance of the last incumbent having participated in a public banquet given in honor of his arrival at his consulate, and being himself the principal ingredient of a certain savory _ragout_, his presence there, it would seem, proved fatal, and it was his place which we were invited to supply. We returned a somewhat evasive answer. We never voted but once in our life, and that was at a presidential election soon after reaching our majority. We voted for ——, but no matter. To offend party prejudice at this time might be fatal to our hopes. The day after the election we received a bill of two dollars for “poll-tax,” which the collector said we owed and we had better pay or have our body lodged in the county jail until we should call for it, and settle up what was due on it to the State. The unprincipled man had obtained our address from the registry books, and this our first ebullition of patriotism cost us two dollars. However much inclined we may be by nature and experience to avoid the subject of politics as a rule, it now becomes our duty to make mention of certain exponents of American politics, but whether to their advantage or disadvantage will depend entirely upon the record they have left behind them.