English essays -- 20th century; English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
For nothing is so dreadful to this man as solitude. In solitude he hears
the voice of Her he cannot understand: “Ah! the baby that you are, my
baby man!” And he sees Her smile, the ironic smile of evening over land
and sea. In solitude he feels so small, so very small; for solitude is
silence and silence irony, and irony he cannot bear, not even that of
Her who gave him birth.
And so he is neither careful of his beauty nor of his strength; not
careful to be clean or to be fine; his only care is not to be alone. To
all his young, from the first day, he teaches the same lesson: Dread
Her! Avoid Her! Look not on Her! Towns! more towns! There you can talk
and listen to your fellows’ talk! Crowd into the towns; the eyes in your
whitened faces need never see Her there! Fill every cranny of your
houses so that no moment of silence or of solitude can come to any one
of you. And if, by unhappy chance, in their parks you find yourself
alone, lie neither on your back, for then you will see the quiet
sunlight on the leaves, the quiet clouds, and birds with solitude within
their wings; nor on your face, or you will catch the savour of the
earth, and a faint hum, and for a minute live the life of tiny things
that straddle in the trodden grasses. Fly from such sights and scents
and sounds, for fear lest terror for your fate should visit you; fly to
the streets; fly to your neighbours’ houses; talk, and be brave! Or if,
and such times will come, your feet and brain and tongue are tired, then
sleep! For, next to the drug of fellowship is the anodyne of slumber!
And when it is your holiday, and time is all your own, be warned! The
lot of those few left among you who are forced to live alone--on the
sea, with the sheep of the green hills, guarding the trim wildness of
your woods, turning the lonely soil--may for a moment seem desirable.
Be sure it is not; the thought has come to you from books! Go to a spot
where, though the nights are clear and the sun burns hot, the sea wind
smells of salt, and the land wind smells of hay, you can avoid Her,
huddled in your throngs! Dread Her! Fly from Her! Hide from Her smile,
that seems to say: “Once, when you lived with me, you were a little
gentleman. You looked in my eyes and learned a measure of repose,
learned not to whimper at the dark, giggle, and jeer, and chatter
through your nose, learned to hold yourself up, to think your own
thoughts, and be content. And now you have gone from me to be a little
cockney man. But for all your airs of courage and your fear of me--I
shall get you back!” Dread Her! Avoid Her! Towns, more towns!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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