There was an old man (of great age), Whose daughters were both on the stage; To the one who was Scotch He presented his watch-- To the other a beautiful cage. [Illustration] There was an old knight of New Cross, Who was riding a troublesome horse; But he said, “If he rears, I shall just box his ears, Though I’d rather use kindness than force.” [Illustration] There was a young man of Southall, Who went to a fancy dress ball; Information we lack As to how he got back-- Or whether he got back at all. [Illustration] There was an old fellow of Leek, Who believed in compulsory Greek; As from being at college He’d no other knowledge, The reason was not far to seek. [Illustration] There was a young man of Belgrade, And this was a drawing he made; People called it absurd, Though the critics averred That he must have been taught at the Slade. [Illustration] There was a young lady of Sfax, Who purchased some promising hacks; But when riding astraddle Without any saddle, She frequently fell off their backs. [Illustration] There was an old lady of Nice, Whose house was a haven of peace; Till they all got so warm Over Tariff Reform, That they had to call in the police. [Illustration] There was a young fellow of Sheen, Who was trying to reach Gretna Green; But he saw with impatience That all his relations Were trying to be first on the scene. [Illustration] There was an old man of the coast, Whose wife was as deaf as a post; Unaware of his tread As he staggered to bed, Or the groans of the family ghost. [Illustration] There was a young fellow of Pisa, Whose wife was descended from Caesar; The shape of his feet Made her joy incomplete-- But she valued his efforts to please her. [Illustration] There was an old fellow of Sheen, Who was hired to read to the Queen; But she told him to stop When he got to the top Of page ninety in chapter sixteen. [Illustration] There was a young lady of Shere, Who was loved by an indigent Peer, But she sacrificed rank To a share in a Bank-- About 35,000 a year. [Illustration] There was an old man of St. Abbs, Who wanted to buy a few crabs; His annoyance was great When they offered him skate, And turbot, and haddocks and dabs. [Illustration] There was a young man of Seattle, Whose brothers were killed in a battle; He feelingly said, “It’s a pity they’re dead-- But I shall inherit their cattle.” [Illustration] There was an old fellow of Quorn, Who borrowed some dogs and a horn; Though he hadn’t a nag He got hold of a stag, And chased it all over the lawn. [Illustration]