This version shows that Cummings was bound to write the poem as he did in order to prevent it from becoming what we have made it. To write a new poem on an old subject like sunset and avoid all the obvious poetical formulas the poet must write in a new way if he is to evoke any fresh response in his readers at all. Not only does the rewritten poem demand much less attention than the first poem; but it is difficult to feel respect for a poem that is full of reminiscences not only of Rémy de Gourmont, but of Wordsworth (“To the imaginary sight”), Milton (in the metrical variations taken from L’Allegro), Messrs. Belloc and Chesterton (“Where jovial monks ...” etc.) and Tagore in English translation (“Dragging the waters like a fishing net”). Stale phrases such as “vesper wind” and “silver seas” have come to mean so little that they scarcely do their work in the poem. And yet we shall see that such phrases cannot be avoided if we are to revise the poem for the plain man. “White foam” is understood from the sea setting, the movement of the poem, the cold hissing implied in the sequence of _s_’s. “Vesper wind” is suggested by _sunset_, _spires_, _monks_, _bells_, _tall wind_. “Salt air”, as well as resulting from the embrace of “white foam” and “vesper wind”, is built up from _stinging_, _sea_, and _wind_. The transformations are fairly obvious in the next three lines. “Imaginary sight” is necessary to remind the plain reader that the poem is not to be taken literally, a hint that E. E. Cummings disdained to give. It should be noticed that “imaginary” is the longest and slowest word in the poem but adds nothing to the picture; in fact, makes it less real. The seventh and eighth lines express the connection between bells and waves that Cummings leaves the reader to deduce, or not. The ninth line is the expansion of the rose idea demanded by the context: _Monks_, _spires_, _litanies_ are all bound up with the Catholic symbolism of the rose; and in rewriting the poem it is impossible not to develop the literary associations of the rose as well (wafting, perfumes). The rose-windows of cathedrals are also obviously suggested. Unfortunately _lewd_, too strong a word for a formal sunset piece, has to be broken up into _jovial_ and _glutton_, recalling the Christmas-annual type of monk. The analogy between _great bells_ and _fat monks_ has to be made definite, thus introducing gratuitous words like _mellow_, _bell-paunched_, _on their knees_, etc. Instead of taking advantage of the natural associations in certain highly pictorial words, we have had to go over much unnecessary ground and ended by being merely dull and banal. In lengthening the metre in the last two lines to match the slowing down in the original piece it will be noticed how many superfluous words and images have had to be introduced here too. First of all, _slow_ itself, as weakening to the concentration of the poem as the line “To the imaginary sight”.