All quiet on the Western FrontRemarque, Erich Maria
History
All quiet on the Western Front
Remarque, Erich Maria
War stories; World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
Then he gets up and walks off.
He is worried. His wife has to look after the farm. They've already
taken away two of his horses. Every day he reads the papers that
come, to see whether it is raining in his little corner of Oldenburg.
They haven't brought the hay in yet.
At this moment Himmelstoss appears. He comes straight up to our
group. Tjaden's face turns red. He stretches his length on the
grass and shuts his eyes in embarrassment.
Himmelstoss is a little hesitant, his gait becomes slower. Then he
marches up to us. No one makes any motion to stand up. Kropp looks
up at him with interest.
He continues to stand in front of us and wait. As no one says
anything he launches a "Well?"
A couple of seconds go by. Apparently Himmelstoss doesn't quite know
what to do. He would like most to set us all on the run again. But
he seems to have learned already that the front line isn't a parade
ground. He tries it on though, and by addressing himself to one
instead of to all of us hopes to get some response. Kropp is
nearest, so he favours him.
"Well, you here too?"
But Albert's no friend of his. "A bit longer than you, I fancy," he
retorts.
The red moustache twitches: "You don't recognize me any more, what?"
Tjaden now opens his eyes. "I do though."
Himmelstoss turns to him: "Tjaden, isn't it?"
Tjaden lifts his head. "And do you know what you are?"
Himmelstoss is disconcerted. "Since when have we become so familiar?
I don't remember that we ever slept in the gutter together?"
He has no idea what to make of the situation. He didn't expect this
open hostility. But he is on his guard: someone has already dinned
some rot into him about getting a shot in the back.
The question about the gutter makes Tjaden so mad that he becomes
almost witty: "No, you slept there by yourself."
Himmelstoss begins to boil. But Tjaden gets in ahead of him. He
must bring off his insult: "Wouldn't you like to know what you are?
A dirty hound, that's what you are. I've been wanting to tell you
that for a long time."
The satisfaction of months shines in his dull pig's eyes as he spits
out: Dirty hound!
Himmelstoss lets fly too, now. "What's that, you muck-rake, you
dirty peat-stealer? Stand up there, bring your heels together when
your superior officer speaks to you."
Tjaden winks solemnly. "You take a run and jump at yourself,
Himmelstoss."
Himmelstoss is a raging book of army regulations. The Kaiser
couldn't be more insulted. "Tjaden, I command you, as your superior
officer: Stand up!"
"Anything else you would like?" asks Tjaden.
"Will you obey my order or not?"
Tjaden replies, without knowing it, in the well-known classical
phrase.
At the same time he ventilates his backside.
"I'll have you court-martialled," storms Himmelstoss.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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