My war-work has had to call a halt till I get through with this business
of home making; that being the duty that lies nearest. You think I’m
not saying so much as usual about Himself? I can’t, because, oh,
Cornelia, he seems to have passed out of my life! I get his dear
letters, but they are all about people I have never seen and don’t want
to see, because they are there with him, seeing him every day, and I am
not. He is loving the life—you know how he would—and the boys with whom
he lives in the mess, himself the biggest boy of all.
In every letter I can sense the buoyancy of spirit that comes with the
laying down of responsibility. Here he had so much, and now he is only
a nut in the great machine of war, and so long as he does his duty and
obeys orders he can have an easy and comfortable mind.
He is stationed at the moment up in what is the frozen north, but they
are the hills of home, and he is assuredly content. He is not even
homesick, though always asking when I am coming. I am waiting for
Effie’s next leave, when we will go up together. Meanwhile I must hold
the fort here, or all the wrong wall papers will go up, and there might
even be structural undoing if the workmen were left to their own sweet
wills. But it is an empty life, Cornelia, out of which the soul has
gone. Even the picture in uniform, on my desk, the man of the house at
war, fails to afford the uplift or the comfort once imagined. I must
get through with this reconstruction job as it affects material things,
and start the reconstruction of my own inner life. I, too, must go to
the war.
*VII*
I had your dear letter yesterday and have every word of it by heart,
even George’s postscript. I always knew him to be an understanding
creature, but his knowledge of human beings, more especially the heart
of woman, is a wee bit uncanny.
Is he your product, Cornelia, or is he just the American husband at his
best? It is long since you told me (it was on that wonderful testing
first visit which we essayed fearfully—not sure whether it would grapple
us to one another with hooks of steel or merely end in a polite parting
with regrets on either side) that English husbands are not properly
brought up. You imagined, or really perceived, in them a lordly air of
superiority—and even said that some of our households bear the impress
of the feudal age in which our race was cradled.
I remember wanting to say that the criticism did not, and could not,
apply to Scotch husbands. But perhaps wisely I held my peace.
We left it, what is called in Scotland "a moot point"—and a moot point,
I guess, it must remain. Anyway, wherever George got his knowledge,
whether natural or acquired, he has gripped the essence of this thing
when he calls separation the supreme test of the bond. I am going to
write to him when I am through with this, and you are not to see that
letter, nor yet ask to see it—I need him—I want the man’s point of view.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account