For a few tense moments the pride of her new possession had a mental wrestle with patriotism. Then Mollie remarked: “Well, never mind, she’s very young, and I’ll bring her up English.” FAMILIAR SOUNDS He had been a riveter in one of the large shipyards, and was used to the din and roar of the thousands of hammers used in connection therewith, which causes deafness to many of the men engaged in this occupation. When the call of King and Country sounded he nobly responded and enlisted, and was eventually drafted to the front. It happened that the first of his nights near the scene of action was supremely quiet, but just before daylight the enemy’s guns came into action, and the boom and roar of the “Jack Johnsons,” etc., woke him with a start, and he gazed round the unusual surroundings of his billet. “What’s wrong, mate?” asked one of the old hands, seeing the expression on his face; “did you think the world was comin’ to an end?” “No,” was the reply, “but I thought I had slept in, and they had started work without me.” IMPORTANT MESSAGES Recruiting is responsible for a good story from Carmarthenshire. One of the latest accessions to Kitchener’s army is a stalwart man 6 feet 2 inches in height, from the heart of the country, and on joining he expanded his chest with pride and ejaculated, “Now for the Germans.” The following day he received from London a telegram: “Heartiest congratulations.—Kitchener.” This was duly shown around, but next morning his pride was boundless on receiving the Royal message: “The Empire is proud of you.—George.” It was not until the third day, when he received a wire, “For Heaven’s sake, keep neutral.—Wilhelm,” that he realized a waggish friend had been pulling his leg. THE JEW AND THE CROSS “I am told,” said the Kaiser, “that you are a very poor man, and the only support of your aged parents. Because of your poverty you shall have your choice between taking the Iron Cross or a hundred marks.” “Your Majesty,” inquired the hero, “what is the Cross worth in money?” “Not much,” said the Emperor. “It is the honor that makes it valuable. It is worth perhaps two marks.” “Very well, then,” said Einstein, drawing himself up to his full height and saluting. “I will take the Iron Cross and ninety-eight marks in cash!” RETREAT IN ORDER Even an extremely aggressive enemy can be conquered by strategy; it is only a question of employing the stratagem fitted to the case. An open-air preacher of East London understood this, and his stratagem fitted to a charm. He was addressing a crowd when a soldier who had been drinking came up and ridiculed the service. Finding it was useless to ignore the man, the preacher said: “Ah, my friend, you’re no soldier. No servant of the King would get drunk and interrupt a peaceful service.” The man said he was a soldier, and asked the preacher to test him. “Very well,” was the reply, “I will. Now, then, attention!” This the soldier did as well as his condition would allow.