"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In EnglandSurtees, Robert Smith
General
"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In England
Surtees, Robert Smith
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Fox hunting -- Fiction
Posterity will know nothing of the misery their forefathers
underwent in the travelling way; and whenever we hear—which we
often do—unreasonable grumblings about the absence of trifling
luxuries on railways, we are tempted to wish the parties
consigned to a good long ride in an old stage coach. Why the
worst third class that ever was put next the engine is infinitely
better than the inside of the best of them used to be, to say
nothing of the speed. As to the outsides of the old coaches, with
their roastings, their soakings, their freezings, and their
smotherings with dust, one cannot but feel that the establishment
of railways was a downright prolongation of life. Then the coach
refreshments, or want of refreshments rather; the turning out at
all hours to breakfast, dine, or sup, just as the coach reached
the house of a proprietor “wot oss’d it,” and the cool incivility
of every body about the place. Any thing was good enough for a
coach passenger.
On this auspicious day, though Miss Willing had her reticule full
of macaroons and sponge biscuits, and Fine Billy the first had a
great bulging paper of sandwiches in his brown overcoat pocket,
they neither of them felt the slightest approach to hunger, ere
the lumbering vehicle, after a series of clumsy,
would-be-dash-cutting lurches and evolutions over the rough
inequalities of the country pavement, pulled up short at the
arched doorway of the Salutation Inn—we beg pardon, hotel—in
Bramfordrig, and a many-coated, brandy-faced, blear-eyed guard
let in a whole hurricane of wind while proclaiming that they
“dined there and stopped half an hour.” Then Fine Billy the first
had an opportunity of showing his gallantry and surveying the
figure of his innamorata, as he helped her down the perilous
mud-shot iron steps of the old Independent, and certainly never
countess descended from her carriage on a drawing-room day with
greater elegance than Miss Willing displayed on the present
occasion, showing a lettle circle of delicate white linen
petticoat as she protected her clothes from the mud-begrimed
wheel, and just as much fine open-worked stocking above the
fringed top of her Adelaide boots. On reaching the ground, which
she did with a curtsey, she gave such a sweet smile as emboldened
our Billy to offer his arm; and amid the nudging of outsiders,
and staring of street-loungers, and “make way"-ing of inn
hangers-on, our Billy strutted up the archway with all the
dignity of a drum-major. His admiration increased as he now
became sensible of the lady’s height, for like all little men he
was an admirer of tall women. As he caught a glimpse of himself
in the unbecoming mirror between the drab and red fringed window
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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