Augustus Carp, Esq., by Himself: Being the Autobiography of a Really Good Man — John Shaqi
Augustus Carp, Esq., by Himself: Being the Autobiography of a Really Good ManBashford, H. H. (Henry Howarth), Sir
General
Augustus Carp, Esq., by Himself: Being the Autobiography of a Really Good Man
Bashford, H. H. (Henry Howarth), Sir
English fiction -- 20th century; Humorous stories; Satire
“I should hardly have thought offer,” he said, “was the right word.”
Mrs. Lorton looked at her husband.
“He means that dear Augustus,” she said, “would allow Chrysostom to
approach him.”
“Provided,” said my father, “that he gave sufficient assurances. Of
course we should look forward to an eventual partnership.”
“And not to succession?” asked Mrs. Lorton.
“Only in the event,” said my father, “of Mr. Chrysostom’s decease.”
Mr. Lorton wiped his forehead.
“That’s most considerate,” he said, “most considerate.”
“Then perhaps I can rely,” said my father, “on your taking immediate
steps to arrange an interview for us with your brother.”
But Mr. Lorton shook his head.
“I’m very sorry,” he replied. “But that’s quite impossible. For, in the
first place, my brother’s business is a very complicated and peculiar
one, and in the second I regret to say that I have absolutely no
influence with him. In fact—er—well, to tell the truth, any testimonial
from me would be worse than useless.”
“Oh, worse,” said Mrs. Lorton, “much worse. And besides, he has no
vacancies.”
For perhaps a quarter of a minute there was a dead silence, and then
very slowly my father rose to his feet.
“So I am to understand,” he said, “that you entirely refuse to approach
your brother on my son’s behalf?”
With a pitiable gesture Mr. Lorton shrugged his shoulders, and the clock
on the mantelpiece made an insolent crowing noise. Trembling, but
composed, my father swept it to the floor together with several of its
adjacent ornaments. Then very quietly, but with increasing emphasis, he
began to address Mr. Lorton. It was a painful task. It is always a
painful task to confront such a character with its own portrait. But it
was a duty from which, I am proud to say, I never knew my father to
shrink. Nor did he cease, on the present occasion, until the last iota
of it had been discharged, though such, as I have shown, was his verbal
economy that this was completed in fifteen minutes. Then with his hand
resting upon my shoulder, for he was still the taller by two and a half
inches, we turned our backs, as we thought for ever, upon Mr. and Mrs.
Septimus Lorton.
I have said for ever. But though, as the event proved, this was a
misjudgment on both our parts, it must not be assumed that either my
father or myself had lost his self-confidence. For the moment, it was
true, the path seemed obstructed, the vision obscured, the end denied.
But neither of us doubted that, by means yet unrevealed, I should be
brought at last to the destined haven, although, as I must admit,
neither of us foresaw the tremendous speed with which this would be
accomplished.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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