The bath-mat was wrinkled and the floor was wet. (His daughter Verona
eccentrically took baths in the morning, now and then.) He slipped on
the mat, and slid against the tub. He said “Damn!” Furiously he snatched
up his tube of shaving-cream, furiously he lathered, with a belligerent
slapping of the unctuous brush, furiously he raked his plump cheeks with
a safety-razor. It pulled. The blade was dull. He said,
“Damn--oh--oh--damn it!”
He hunted through the medicine-cabinet for a packet of new razor-blades
(reflecting, as invariably, “Be cheaper to buy one of these dinguses and
strop your own blades,”) and when he discovered the packet, behind the
round box of bicarbonate of soda, he thought ill of his wife for putting
it there and very well of himself for not saying “Damn.” But he did say
it, immediately afterward, when with wet and soap-slippery fingers he
tried to remove the horrible little envelope and crisp clinging oiled
paper from the new blade.
Then there was the problem, oft-pondered, never solved, of what to do
with the old blade, which might imperil the fingers of his young. As
usual, he tossed it on top of the medicine-cabinet, with a mental note
that some day he must remove the fifty or sixty other blades that were
also temporarily piled up there. He finished his shaving in a growing
testiness increased by his spinning headache and by the emptiness in his
stomach. When he was done, his round face smooth and streamy and his
eyes stinging from soapy water, he reached for a towel. The family
towels were wet, wet and clammy and vile, all of them wet, he found, as
he blindly snatched them--his own face-towel, his wife’s, Verona’s,
Ted’s, Tinka’s, and the lone bath-towel with the huge welt of initial.
Then George F. Babbitt did a dismaying thing. He wiped his face on the
guest-towel! It was a pansy-embroidered trifle which always hung there
to indicate that the Babbitts were in the best Floral Heights society.
No one had ever used it. No guest had ever dared to. Guests secretively
took a corner of the nearest regular towel.
He was raging, “By golly, here they go and use up all the towels, every
doggone one of ’em, and they use ’em and get ’em all wet and sopping,
and never put out a dry one for me--of course, I’m the goat!--and then I
want one and-- I’m the only person in the doggone house that’s got the
slightest doggone bit of consideration for other people and
thoughtfulness and consider there may be others that may want to use the
doggone bathroom after me and consider--”
He was pitching the chill abominations into the bath-tub, pleased by the
vindictiveness of that desolate flapping sound; and in the midst his
wife serenely trotted in, observed serenely, “Why Georgie dear, what are
you doing? Are you going to wash out the towels? Why, you needn’t wash
out the towels. Oh, Georgie, you didn’t go and use the guest-towel, did
you?”
It is not recorded that he was able to answer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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