American fiction -- 20th century; Bohemianism -- Fiction
As he walked between the incongruities of hard street surfaces and
soft noises, everything around him seemed to be vainly trying to
conceal a hollow monotone. Middle-aged and old people sat around the
doorsteps of the box-like apartment-houses, and the circumscribed and
hair’s-breadth shades of intelligence and defeat on their faces were
transparent over one color and shape. Each of these people strove
to convince himself that his relaxation on this summer evening was
a glittering honor conferred by hours of virtuous toil, though at
times discontent suddenly raised their voices high in the air. It was
as though they lifted musical instruments, gave them one helpless
blow, and retired to apathy, scarcely aware of what they had done.
Carl looked at them with a weary indifference that almost verged upon
hatred, and hurried down the cement walk.
As he neared the apartment-house where his parents lived it suddenly
occurred to him that the entrance might be decorated by people who
would recognize him and comment upon his appearance and his abrupt
return. The thought of their amused and veiled contempt, or their
assumption of superior compassion, made him cringe a little and he
turned to a side-street that led to an alley which extended behind the
block in which his parents lived. He passed through the dismal rear
yard of beaten earth and ascended the wooden stairway. A negro janitor,
who had been working in this place for several years, gazed at him, at
first with suspicion and then with a slowly pitying grin of recognition.
“’Lo, Mistah Felman. What brings you-all back here?”
Carl affected an irritated aloofness.
“I came back to enjoy a little shame,” he said.
“What dat last word you said?”
“Shame, shame,” repeated Carl, frowning at the man.
“Guess you-all’s crazy,” said the negro, throwing up his hands and
stumping away.
This was one of Carl’s favorite tricks. Whenever he desired to avoid
a forced exchange of commonplaces, or the threat of a humiliation, he
would speak in a cryptic fashion that aroused bewilderment or annoyance
in the person before him and helped him to end the conversation. He
found that the rear door of the apartment was locked and knew that
his parents were visiting an adjacent moving-picture theater or
sitting outside on the tiny lawn. Happily, he eyed the open window and
remembered how often in the past his mother had scolded his father
for that enormous crime. Ah, the windows in their minds were well
nailed and shaded. He felt relieved at the knowledge that he could
probably sit for an hour or two and rest before they returned. He
climbed through the window with the jocose satisfaction of a criminal
whose mock-hanging has been postponed, and sat on a weak-jointed
rocking-chair in the small dining-room.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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