American fiction -- 20th century; Bohemianism -- Fiction
The glib suavity of a midsummer night sprinkled its sounds down the
street and the doorsteps and walks were heavy with men, women and
children, parading the uncomfortable drabness of their clothes and
unwinding their idle talk. In pairs and squads, youths and girls
strolled past Carl, laughing and playing to that exact degree of
animal abandon tolerated by the street lights of a civilization, and
sometimes crossing the forbidden boundary line, with little bursts of
guilty spontaneity. Amid the openness of the street they were forced
to become jauntily evasive of the old sensual madness brought by a
summer evening, and they sought the refuges of crudely taunting words,
snickering withdrawals, and tentative invitations. They were sauntering
toward the kittenish excitements of ice-cream sundaes, moving pictures,
and kisses traded upon the shaded benches in a nearby public park.
Thought had subsided in their heads to a kindly mist that clung to
the rhythm of their emotions, though in the main, their minds were
merely emotions that vainly strove to become discreet. Most people are
incapable of actual thought, and thinking to them is merely emotion
that calmly plots for more concrete rewards and visions.
Carl looked upon the people on the sidewalks with the attitude of an
unscrupulous stranger, and in his fancy he measured them for material
gains and attacks, without a trace of warm emotion in his regard. To
him they were merely alien figures busily engaged in deifying the
five senses, and they mattered no more than shadowy animals blind
to his aims and presence. He had long since frozen his emotions
in self-defense and nothing could unloosen them save the timidly
mystical lyrics which he wrenched from the baffled surfaces of his
heart. During the four years of his life as a soldier and hobo he
had often looked upon some of the darker and more rawly naked shades
of sexual desire in the people around him, but after a first period
of mechanical curiosity he had drawn aloof from what he considered a
blind, shrieking, fantastic parade. “This wearisome game of advancing
and retreating flesh, always trying to lend importance to an essential
monotone, can go to hell,” he had muttered to himself. “I’ll yield to
my sexual desires at rare intervals, but I’ll do it in the brief and
matter-of-fact manner in which a man spits into a convenient cuspidor.”
Women to him were simply moulds of dull intrigue, irritating him with
their pretenses of animation and with the oneness of their appeal.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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