American fiction -- 20th century; Bohemianism -- Fiction
“I am a poet!” he had cried out to the murmuring patience of the
trees around him, “and fools will some day gape along my road, and the
open circles of their mouths will be like the rims of beggars’ cups.
My voice will rise above the dreamless clink of their coins and they
will stop and look at me, as though I were a pilgrim-problem. An angry
amazement will lend its little catastrophe to their faces. Yes, I will
drop beauty to them, in clearly abundant handfuls, and they will sit
quarreling over its value and tossing me an occasional penny. But I
will never stop to join their discourses. My feet will be lighter than
breezes and more direct. I am a poet, and the world is stagnation that
I must ever torment!”
He had lurched back to the Felman apartment, “dropping beauty” with
an incisive exuberance to the astonished neighbors seated around the
doorstep, and commanding them to examine his gifts. As he sat at the
dining-room table now, he remembered this episode, and similar ones,
with a gust of half-rebellious shame.
“This has been my only triumph so far--a whiskey bottle raised beneath
the stars, on a summer evening, and reigning over an idle riot of
words,” he said to himself with an exhausted self-hatred. “Am I going
to be contented with this thwarted joke? And yet----”
Levy stepped into the room and provided a slightly unwelcome ending to
this secret sentence. Short and slender, his blue serge suit clinging
to him like an emblem of shrewd victory, he made an excellent period
to the labors of thought. Upon his small, light tan face a twirled-up
black moustache curved to a diminutive swagger and his bending nose
seemed to be vainly attempting to caress the moustache--an unnecessary
affirmation. His black eyes incessantly drove little bargains beneath
the shine of his black hair.
“H’llo, folks,” he chirruped, smiling with an automatic ease at the
Felmans. Then he noticed Carl and looked at him with polite surprise.
The father and mother regarded each other with a despondent indecision,
dreading the thought of introducing their drolly disreputable son to
this shining symbol of an outside world and hating the undeserved
appearance of inferiority which had been thrown upon them. This queer
son had cast his shadow upon their assured and humbly conservative
position in life--in a world of decently balanced regularities.
Their ability at loquacious pretense took up the burden with a weary
precision.
“This is my son Carl,” said Mr. Felman, with a prodigiously uneasy
grin tickling the roundness of his face. “Carl, this is Al Levy.
You’ve heard us talking of him, Al. He’s just come back from the
army--surprised his old parents, you know.”
“Glad to meet you, I’m sure,” said Levy, with an expert affability
beneath which he exercised his disdain for Carl’s patched-up appearance
and his inkling of the actual situation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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