American fiction -- 20th century; Bohemianism -- Fiction
As he stood and watched the crowd he found it necessary to ask himself
the words: “What gave its slyly amused signal for this plaintive race
through the centuries?”
He also found it necessary to answer: “A languid idiot, much in need of
consolation, refuses to abandon his dream.”
Here and there, apart from the main lunge of the crowd, were men and
women, standing still, as though motion had betrayed them, or loitering
in a carelessly placid fashion. Vacancy and indecision tampered with
most of their faces.
“How many minor poets have stood upon these street corners, making
arrangements for a gradual and unnoticed death?” he asked himself, with
the sentimental self-importance of youth.
But the stage hands clamored that he was neglecting the play--a habit
falsely known as laziness--and that, with appropriate cunning, they had
erected this city scene so that he and hordes of others should find it
difficult to forget their tamely borrowed lines. With an uncomplaining
wrench he returned to his surface role of a youth sent out in weakly
gruesome clothes to look for some task that would begin to answer the
flatly strident requests of an average life. The humble stupor fell
back upon his shoulders and he walked to a bench in a public square,
seated himself, and read the “want-ad” section of a newspaper. He
spied, with a prostrate frown, the barren jest of: “Wanted--Young man
for clerical work; must be neat, industrious, wide-awake, sober, well
educated, reliable, good at details, ambitious, honest, painstaking;
salary twelve dollars a week.” He muttered certain useless words
to himself. “The illusion of a reluctant penny for fresh vigor. If
the applicant is morbidly patient and reasonably deft at following
orders he may after many years attain the virtue of writing the same
trivially unfair appeal to other men. And even that exquisite victory
is uncertain.”
He saw that as usual his only choice rested between an office-boy’s
task, dignified by the title of junior clerk to make it more enticing,
and unskilled manual labor.
“Now, how will you become tired--mentally or physically?” he asked
himself with great formality.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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