Life always has some horrid clog To trip a fellow up, And it’s hard to be a gay, gay dog On the income of a pup. * * * * * A Matter of Habit Pat—Johnny Newlywed says he has the most economical wife in town. Mike—How’s that? Pat—He says that the morning after he was married, he happened to think that his wife needed a little money, so he gave her a five dollar bill, whereupon she reached into her stocking and handed him two dollars change. _Classified Ads_ Leathery People (From Mandan Daily Pioneer.) High Grade Bags for men and women of extra quality leather. * * * * * Make It Two, Please (From the Michigan Daily.) WANTED—Room from Thursday to Monday with woman student. * * * * * Especially in Edgetown (From the Momence Progress.) A box social will be hell at the Edgetown School District No. 37, on Saturday. * * * * * Is She Entertaining This Winter? (From the Dixon, Ill., Telegraph.) Found—Brown fur collar. Owner can have same by paying for ad and calling on Mrs. William Greig. * * * * * Engaged Couples Preferred (From the Oak Parker, Ill.) For Rent—Furnished front room; warm and sunny; twin beds; new house; to persons engaged; references. Call after 4 p.m. * * * * * Just a Rehearsal (From the Elgin News.) Mr. and Mrs. Pierce left immediately on a short honeymoon trip. The “real” honeymoon trip is soon to be made, into various parts of Virginia. * * * * * My Daughter, O My Daughter! (From the Indianapolis Star.) WOODRUFF PLACE, 571 E. Drive. Room and board; modern, home privileges; gentleman preferred. Daughter wishes congenial roommate. Woodruff 6110. * * * * * With Best Regards (From the Lancaster, Wis., Teller.) The low-down, scurvy halfbreed that swiped our log chain from the bridge where we were working does not need to bring it back, as we have another one, but if there is a hell for dogs I hope he gets a seat in the front row with my compliments. * * * * * A Few More Want Ads WANTED—Man to work in dog kennel; $12 a week; sleep in or out.—Pittsburg Post. WANTED—Good home for young lady who requires very little attention at night.—New Orleans Times-Picayune. FOR SALE—About 100 year old chickens.—Waterloo (Ia.) Courier. * * * * * Pitiless Publicity (From the Mount Vernon Argus.) —W. Harshbarger, of Pleasantville, is the guest of Mrs. A. E. Blackman, of North Fulton Ave. —A. E. Blackman is away on a hunting trip. * * * * * A Model Husband There is a man who never drinks, Nor chews, nor smokes, nor swears; Who never gambles, never flirts, And shuns all sinful snares. He’s paralyzed.