“Sir: Just got married. Please wire me ten-day extension of leave to finish honeymoon.” * * * * * Why He Needs Paper The Rocky Ford, Colorado, Gazette-Topic prints this one: The editor met a farmer reader on the street who was considerably in arrears with his subscription and suggested that the farmer liquidate, come across, dig up a little coin, but the farmer said he had no money. “Well,” said the editor, “bring in some chickens.” “I have no chickens,” said the farmer. “Then,” said the scribe, “bring in some potatoes, corn, wheat or something.” “I have no corn, no wheat or potatoes,” said the farmer. “Well,” continued the pencil pusher, “you might bring in some cobs, I can burn them anyway.” “Cobs,” said the farmer, “cobs, why man if I had cobs I wouldn’t need your paper.” * * * * * I can shake my shoulders, I can shake my knees, I’m a free-born American, I shake what I please. * * * * * A Choice of Evils “Would you marry her just because she’s wealthy? Don’t you know she has a questionable past?” “Well, what of it? If I don’t marry her I shall have a questionable future.” _Picture Land Flattery_ _Editor’s Note: Here is a story for young girls with movie ambitions. In fact it’s a crackerjack of a story for women in general. I do not believe the public, outside of Los Angeles, realizes that the favorite form for gaining a lady’s favor is to tell her she ought to be in pictures._ _Girls strange to Los Angeles fall hard for this style of flattery, very often with serious final result. Designing men quite frequently bunco the fair and trusting creatures and “those who know” declare it is surprising how the ladies like the movie flattery._ _But here is the story, true to nature and only intended for the eyes of the fair sex._ BY RICHMOND. Young women who desire to break into the movies should be prepared to take a little “breaking-in” themselves unless they indeed are fortunate and bump into a man instead of some of the rat horde that infests movieland. No line of business in the world combines more petty jealousies than creep through the Picture World. Men play the women against one another; women play men and the whole bunch forever conjure to hold the upper hand.