LAUNDRY HELP—Girl to operate bosom press. The Bachelor’s Laundry Co., 2004 Broadway. * * * * * Now a Man! (From San Francisco Examiner) Man for pressing forms; no experience necessary; good pay while learning. 541 Market st. * * * * * An Old-Timer A Cambridge under-graduate, contrary to regulations, was entertaining his sister, when they heard someone on the stairs. Hastily hiding his sister behind a curtain, he went to the door and confronted an aged man who was revisiting the scenes of his youth, and was desirous of seeing his old rooms. Obtaining permission, he looked around, and remarked, “Ah, yes, the same old room.” Going to the window, he said, “The same old view”; and peeping behind the curtain, he exclaimed, “The same old game!” “My sister, sir,” said the student. “Oh, yes,” said the visitor, “the same old story!”—Tit-Bits. * * * * * But, My Dear— Florine: I won’t marry a man who won’t look me straight in the eye while he is talking to me. Chlorine: Then wear ’em longer, dearie. * * * * * Girls no longer love to dance. They dance to love. * * * * * The old fashioned girl used to stay home when she had nothing to wear. * * * * * The feminine half of the world may not know how the masculine half lives, but it never tires of trying to find out. * * * * * The Luck of the Irish An Irishman at confession noticed that the priest had a watch on a fob. As it was easy he nicked it. Continuing his confession he said, “And Father, I stole a gold watch and fob from a man, but I will give it to you.” The priest was horrified by the suggestion and said, “No, you must give it to the man you took it from.” Pat replied, “But, Father, I offered it to him and he would not take it.” Then, said the priest, “You may keep it.” * * * * * Love As An Appetizer Any emotion that gives pleasure acts healthily on the heart and other organs, certain scientists have recently discovered. Brisk circulation, gnawing appetite and health ensue. Love, hope and happiness all produce these emotions and, contrary to the accepted notion, the ardent lover ought to enjoy his meals thoroughly. Despair, grief and fear are declared to have quite the opposite effect. They make the heart slower, and enfeeble the nervous system, often upsetting digestion. * * * * * Many a girl looks sweet on the outside, but so does a sugar-coated pill. * * * * * You may have more brains than a dog, but the dog is the happiest. * * * * * Could Explain Readily