=_Gracey_=—No, Gracey, I don’t walk in my sleep. I take carfare to bed with me. * * * * * A NATIONAL BIRD IS THE EAGLE—WITH THE STORK A CLOSE SECOND. * * * * * Essence of Joy, By Gum By L. J. Messenger Please kiss me, dear, the youth insisted, As ’round her waist, his arms he twisted. I will, says she, if you’ll agree To buy some chewing gum for me. So the youth was wise and bought the gum, And told his dearie he wanted one. All right, he heard her softly sigh, The gum for me you’ll ne’er deny. Now this is a thing I’ve never done, Kisses, my dear, I always shun, But I know I’ll like them as well as you, If they’re as good as the gum I chew. So she sat right down upon a chair, She chewed her gum and fussed her hair, And the nearer she came to the “bargained fun” The faster she chewed her chewing gum. Suddenly she chewed with all her might, And placed her arms around him tight, She swallowed her gum, and cried, “Don’t miss. I love my gum, but oh, djer kiss.” * * * * * His First Offense In New York City, all those who are sent to jail for thirty days are required to take a bath. A bath attendant upon noticing that Ike Kabibble’s person was none too clean, suddenly exclaimed: “Hey, there, you guy! Did you ever take a bath before?” “Vell,” Abe replied, “I nefer vas arrested before.” * * * * * She said to him beneath the tree, “Well, I’ll love you if you love me.” The kiss he gave with love did burn, She gave him ditto in return. _Arthur Neale’s Page_ _I joined a Frisco schooner—a good ship, I was told;_ _Bound for Sydney, New South Wales, with lumber in the hold._ _We’d left the South behind, boys; began to feel the swell,_ _When the mate looked in the fo’c’sle. I said: “Mister, go away.”_ * * * * * Fascinated by the spell of the Smokehouse Poetry, and having sailed the seven seas and visited most every place East and West of Suez, including Hoboken, N. J., we wished to show the doubting Gus that we also could string together that line of verse. Hence the above. When we got to the fourth line, however, we grew tired and finished it up. * * * * * Gus writes us that he went to St. Paul the other day. He met a girl and they went into a movie. He says she sat there with her arm around his waist, and after she’d said good-bye he found it had been in his pocket as well. * * * * * ’Tis better to have loved and lost when you read of some of the mean things they say in the divorce court. * * * * *