“It’s snow use,” said Alvie; “we can’t go tonight.” And he hung up the receiver, while the fluffy flakes fell on the grass outside. * * * * * Jewish Bees _Biz-z—Biz—Biz-ness._ * * * * * “I’m through,” cried Pedro, as he glanced over the Whiz Bang Winter Annual. * * * * * Tar Baby I once knew A Girl Who was so modest That she wouldn’t Even do Improper Fractions. * * * * * Down in Dreamy Honohula If I was a man in the land of orange and fig, I would sit with my thingamabob, and play on my thingamajig. * * * * * Longfellow A tramp sat in the doorway of the box car, his feet dragging on the ground. * * * * * Strike Three! _They are fools who kiss and tell,_ _Thus it is the poet sings,_ _But that is why so many girls_ _Are sporting wedding rings._ * * * * * SHE CREPT UP TO THE SCALES LIKE AN ARAB, AND SILENTLY STOLE A WEIGH. * * * * * Motto For Poets If at first you don’t succeed, keep on sucking till you do suck seed. * * * * * Mr. Martin of Martin’s Ferry, protests against us writing our jokes on tissue paper so that our Philadelphia friend could see through them. “Tearible,” remarks Mr. Martin. * * * * * They are all roses, but some of them are pretty wild. * * * * * Will Be Dedicated By Request What care we for Mary’s lamb, Now he’s long been to sleep? We’d rather see her pretty calves Than those old, pesky sheep. * * * * * The cold weather chills me to the bone. You should wear a hat. * * * * * Vengeance at Last _Suddenly there came a tapping as if someone were scrapping, slapping, rapping all the poets who write “Apologies to Poe”—just outside my chamber door._ * * * * * Old Ben Jo’ chewed slippery ellum; Slippery ellum, All the dern day long. * * * * * A Tough Break Had a great tip on a horse yesterday called cigarette, but I didn’t have enough tobaccer. * * * * * Da, Da, Daddy I love them all, I love them all, Please take me in swimmin’ With bow-legged women. For I love them all. * * * * * “They sure soak you here,” Gus remarked as he paid for a Turkish bath. * * * * * _“How hoarse you are this morning.”_ _“Yes, my husband got home very late last night.”_ * * * * * My wife and I have been holding hands for twelve years. If we ever let go we’ll kill one another. * * * * *