_My bride is a nice girl, but she sleeps with her knees up and the draft gives me a cold._ * * * * * I’d like to see something in a lady’s combination. So would I. * * * * * We Found These Woids “Why, honey, I love you with an equatorial passion that no adding machine can register.” * * * * * Oregon Gal There she goes on her toes, All dressed up in her Sunday clothes, Ain’t she neat, ain’t she sweet, She has brand new stockings, And nice big clumsy feet. * * * * * _There are a lot of towns in this country that don’t bury their dead. They just let ’em walk around._ * * * * * Mr. and Mrs. Fish wish to announce the arrival of a couple of bouncing minnows. * * * * * _Musicians have an easy job. While they’re at work they’re only playing._ * * * * * I asked the boy across from my farm what he got for planting potatoes. He said, “I don’t get nothin’ when I do, but I get hell when I don’t.” * * * * * I got a fellow so drunk last night that it took three bell boys to put me to bed. * * * * * Wanted: Man to drive. Must bring hammer and nails. * * * * * Hey, Eddie! Eddie was great at a party. In fact, you couldn’t have a party without him. He was a great mixer. * * * * * Here It Is Again, Enlarged _Oh, Scissors, let us cut up!_ _Would Gillette me?_ * * * * * “I’ve come to the end of my rope,” our hero cried as he threw his cigar away. * * * * * He mixed his beans with honey, He’d done it all his life. ’Twas not because he liked the taste, But it held them on his knife. * * * * * Teddy’s Teachings Get the habit, like the rabbit—multiply. * * * * * Let us all join in singing that timely melody: “Keep her picture in your watch—you’ll love her in time.” * * * * * Going Up! _He started life as a chiropodist and worked his way up to be a throat specialist._ * * * * * Don’t always stand on the same side of the pulpit. You’ll wear a hole in the carpet. * * * * * Here’s to the girl that I kissed last Who doesn’t kiss slow and doesn’t kiss fast, With lips like a ruby and cheeks like a rose, How many have kissed her God only knows. * * * * * _“I’m the King of Siam!”_ _“Yesiam!”_ * * * * * He left the light burning so he could see to go asleep. * * * * * Oh the Moon Shines Bright