Look out lips, look out gums, Look out tummy, here she comes. * * * * * Kentucky College Bring on the “moon,” Ring the bell, Near-beer! Near-beer! S.—O.—L. * * * * * The funniest thing I ever saw was a cross-eyed woman telling her hump-backed husband to walk straight home. * * * * * Mrs. Murphy asked for a nut cracker and her husband gave her a beer bottle. * * * * * The 1922 Girl I should worry, I should care I should marry a millionaire. If he should die, I should cry, I should marry my regular guy. * * * * * A little song entitled, “OIL BY MYSELF” By John D. * * * * * She’s a wonderful girl. She can keep a secret in four different languages. * * * * * There is no difference between me and the prohibition agent. We’re both after the same thing. * * * * * The moral of a dog’s tail is that it invariably points to the past. * * * * * Wriggle Through This One We have a terrible lot to be thankful for, Now prohibition’s here, They’ve taken away our whisky, wines and lager beer, They’ll take away our tobacco next, Along with the demon rum, We’ll have a deuce of a lot to be thankful for, If they leave us chewing gum. * * * * * How Do You Get That Way? A Jewish sergeant at Camp Lee in 1918 was explaining to a rookie the command, mark time, in the following manner: “Foist you raise yer right foot six inches in de air and then bring the left foot alongside the right one.” * * * * * “Lovely day, don’t you think,” said the man as he hit his thumb with the hammer. * * * * * Two Swedes went to Ireland To kiss the blarney stone, But they couldn’t catch their lutefisk Where the River Shannon flows. * * * * * Willie, your face has changed quite a bit. Yes, mother, dear, I’ve been washing it. * * * * * A change of wives ofttimes improves one’s disposition. * * * * * Consolation “Who is that terrible looking woman?” “That’s my sister.” “Oh, that’s all right; you ought to see mine.” * * * * * Dope This One After Theophile returned to the city he wrote to Farmer Si Hopkins concerning a question which has been puzzling him for some time. “Why,” he inscribed, “do you lock up that donkey of yours so carefully every night?” In due course of time came Farmer Hopkins’ reply. “Because it is too good an *.” * * * * * Hiawatha Skinned a Squirrel