England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Thus little Cara stole in and established herself noiselessly in the
corner by her mother’s bedside, hidden by the curtains. Many and strange
had been the thoughts in the child’s head through these winter months,
since her parents came home. She had lived a very quiet life for a child
since ever she could remember, though it was a happy life enough; and
the curious baby rigidity of the little code of morals which she had
formed for herself had been unbroken up to that time. Cara had felt
that, whosoever did wrong ought to be hanged, beheaded, burnt, or
whatsoever penalty was practicable, at once, without benefit of clergy.
A lie being the worst possible offence that ever came within her ken,
had been as murder in the swift and sudden vengeance of her thoughts.
The offence had been considered capital, beyond the reach of pardon or
extenuation. It is impossible to tell what horrible overthrow of all her
canons ensued when her father and aunt not only sanctioned, but
enforced, lying upon her, and boldly avowed their practice of it
themselves as a duty. Cara had lost herself for a long time after that.
She had wandered through that bottomless darkness for months, and now
had only just come to a glimmering of daylight again by aid of the
individual argument, that though truth was necessary for the world in
general, modifications were permitted in cases where people were ill--in
the case of mamma being ill, which was the immediate thing before her.
It was the one evil she was individually cognisant of in the world; but
the thing was to accept it, not struggle against it, as guilt which was
justified by necessity. Cara felt that here was one thing upon which
more light would come as one grew older--a prospect which generally this
little idealist treated with the contempt it deserves. Mamma would be
better then, she thought, and the world get back into its due balance
and equilibrium without any one being the worse. Probably now that time
was soon approaching, now that the doctors had come and found what was
the matter, and probably very soon, Cara hoped, the worst of all her
difficulties would be removed; and upon this doubtful subject she would
be able to get the opinion of the individual on whose behalf the others
were defying Heaven with so much horrible daring, of mamma herself, for
whom the sun and moon were being made to stand still, and all the world
was put out of joint for the time. This hope was in her thoughts as she
took her seat in nurse’s big, softly-cushioned chair, which never
creaked nor made any noise, and sat there as still as a mouse, sometimes
not unlike a mouse, peeping round the corner of the curtain at her
charge, who lay half buried among the pillows which her restlessness had
thrown into disorder, with little starts and twitches of movement, and
now and then a broken moan. Worn as she was, there was still beauty in
the face--white and sharpened with pain, with red hectic spots upon it,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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