Master Oliver guessed this by instinct, as children always do. He looked
at her intently, a queer, mischievous, yet penetrating look; then broke
into a broad, genial laugh, quite Bacchic and succumbed. Christian,
the solitary governess, first the worse than orphan, and then the real
orphan, without a friend or relative in the world, felt a child clinging
round her neck--a child toward whom, by the laws of God and man, she was
bound to fulfill all the duties of a mother--duties which, from the time
when she insisted on having a "big doll," that she might dress it, not
like a fine lady, but "like a baby," had always seemed to her the very
sweetest in all the world. Her heart leaped with a sudden ecstasy,
involuntary and uncontrollable.
"My bonny boy!" she murmured, kissing the top of that billowy curl
which extended from brow to crown--"my curl"--for Oliver immediately and
proudly pointed it to her. "And to think that his mother never saw him.
Poor thing! poor thing!"
Dr. Grey turned away to the window. What remembrances, bitter or sweet,
came over the widower's heart, Heaven knows! But he kept them between
himself and Heaven, as he did all things that were incommunicable and
inevitable, and especially all things that could have given pain to any
human being. He only said on returning,
"I knew, Christian, from the first, that you would be a good mother to
my children."
She looked up at him, the tears in her eyes, but with a great light
shining in them too.
"I will try."
Poor Christian! If her hasty marriage, or any other mistake of her life,
needed pardon, surely it might be won for the earnest sincerity of this
vow, and for its self-forgetful, utter humility--"I will try."
For another half hour, at her entreaty, the children staid, though
Letitia and Arthur never relaxed from their dignified decorum farther
than to inform her that they were sometimes called "Titia" and "Atty;"
that their nurse was named Phillis; and that she had remained in
the carriage because "she said she would not come in." Still, having
expected nothing, the young step-mother was not disappointed. And when
the three left, Oliver having held up his rosy mouth voluntarily for "a
good large kiss," the sweetness of the caress lingered on her mouth like
a chrism of consecration, sanctifying her for these new duties which
seemed to have been sent to her without her choice, almost without her
volition; for she often felt, when she paused to thing at all, as if
in the successive links of circumstances which had brought about her
marriage, she had been a passive agent, led on step by step, like a
person half asleep. Would she ever awake?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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