French fiction -- Translations into English; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
Then, when this knowledge has come, when they have in a kiss divined the
law of the Omnipotent, what must be their delight to owe to each other
this revelation, this infinitude of joy! They have participated in a
common blessing: they have put on their white robes and now are clad
like the cherubim. Mingling their very breath, smiling with the same
smile, they repose in their union. Holy hour, in which hearts beat more
freely, finding a heaven to which they can ascend. Sainted hour, in
which ignorant love suddenly learns the full measure of its strength,
believes itself the master of the universe and is intoxicated with its
first flight. Brothers, may God keep for you that hour, the remembrance
of which perfumes one's entire life. It will never be mine.
Such is fate. It is rare that two pure hearts meet; nearly always one
heart of any twain can no longer give its ecstasy in its flower. To-day,
most young men of twenty like ourselves, who are eager to love, lacking
the power to force the bars and bolts of honest houses, hasten to the
wide open doors of boudoirs easier of access. When we ask upon what
shoulders we shall lean our heads, fathers hide their daughters and push
us into the gloom of the lanes. They cry out to us to respect their
children, who will some day be our wives; they prefer for them, instead
of our first caresses, those learned elsewhere.
Hence how few keep their early love for their brides, how few, in the
desert of their youth, refuse the companions into whose society they are
driven by the singular behavior of parents! Some, foolish and wicked
lads, glory in their shame; they drag their ignoble flirtations before
the public eye. Others, when the soul awakes at the first summons of the
sweetheart, are filled with overwhelming sorrow on vainly interrogating
the horizon and at not knowing where to find the rightful claimant of
the heart. They go straight ahead, staring at the balconies, leaning
towards each youthful visage: the balconies are deserted, the youthful
visages remain veiled. Some night an arm is slipped within their own, a
voice makes them start. Already weary and despairing, unable to discover
the angel of love, they follow the spectre.
Brothers, I do not wish to make an excuse for my fault, but let me say
that it is strange to cloister purity and permit dissipation to walk in
the glare of the sun with uplifted head. Let me deplore this distrust of
love, which creates a solitude around the lover, and this guarding of
virtue by vice, which causes a young man to encounter shame before
reaching the door of innocence. He who yields to temptation may well say
to his bride: "I am unworthy of you, but why did you not come to my
rescue? Why did you not meet me in the flowery fields, before all those
by-ways, each nook of which has its priestess? Why were you not the
first to greet my eyes, thus sparing yourself in sparing me?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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