Golf stories, English; Golfers -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English
It was with a light heart that Bradbury Fisher teed up on the
seventeenth. The match, he felt, was as good as over. The whole essence
of golf is to discover a way of getting out of rough without losing
strokes; and with this sensible, broad-minded man of the world caddying
for him he seemed to have discovered the ideal way. It cost him
scarcely a pang when he saw his drive slice away into a tangle of long
grass, but for the sake of appearances he affected a little chagrin.
“Tut, tut!” he said.
“I shouldn’t worry,” said Gladstone Bott. “You will probably find it
sitting upon an india-rubber tee which some one has dropped there.”
He spoke sardonically, and Bradbury did not like his manner. But then
he never had liked Gladstone Bott’s manner, so what of that? He made
his way to where the ball had fallen. It was lying under a bush.
“Caddie,” said Bradbury.
“Sir?” said the caddie.
“A hundred?”
“And fifty.”
“And fifty,” said Bradbury Fisher.
Gladstone Bott was still toiling along the fairway when Bradbury
reached the green.
“How many?” he asked, eventually winning to the goal.
“On in two,” said Bradbury. “And you?”
“Playing seven.”
“Then let me see. If you take two putts, which is most unlikely, I
shall have six for the hole and match.”
A minute later Bradbury had picked up his ball out of the cup. He stood
there, basking in the sunshine, his heart glowing with quiet happiness.
It seemed to him that he had never seen the countryside looking so
beautiful. The birds appeared to be singing as they had never sung
before. The trees and the rolling turf had taken on a charm beyond
anything he had ever encountered. Even Gladstone Bott looked almost
bearable.
“A very pleasant match,” he said, cordially, “conducted throughout in
the most sporting spirit. At one time I thought you were going to pull
it off, old man, but there--class will tell.”
“I will now make my report,” said the caddie with the walrus moustache.
“Do so,” said Gladstone Bott, briefly.
Bradbury Fisher stared at the man with blanched cheeks. The sun had
ceased to shine, the birds had stopped singing. The trees and the
rolling turf looked pretty rotten, and Gladstone Bott perfectly foul.
His heart was leaden with a hideous dread.
“Your report? Your--your report? What do you mean?”
“You don’t suppose,” said Gladstone Bott, “that I would play you an
important match unless I had detectives watching you, do you? This
gentleman is from the Quick Results Agency. What have you to report?”
he said, turning to the caddie.
The caddie removed his bushy eyebrows, and with a quick gesture swept
off his moustache.
“On the twelfth inst.,” he began in a monotonous, sing-song voice,
“acting upon instructions received, I made my way to the Goldenville
Golf Links in order to observe the movements of the man Fisher. I had
adopted for the occasion the Number Three disguise and--”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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