Bildungsromans; Psychological fiction; Young women -- Fiction
He was so elastic, so mercurial in his movements, when he chose, that he
did not seem true. He had a way of swinging down from the topmost branch
of a tree, dropping lightly, hand below hand, as if he were floating
down, and then, long before he reached the usual jumping-place, giving
himself easily to the air and landing in a soft relaxed cat-like crouch.
Once they set out to attempt the huge old fir-tree at the edge of the
garden. The thing was to get to the top before someone below counted
fifty. Julian, Mariella, Martin tried, and failed. Then Roddy. He swung
himself up and soon after leapt out from a branch and came down again,
pronouncing it too uncomfortable and filthy to be bothered about. Judith
looked up and saw the wild swirl of twigs so thick all the way up that
no sky showed through. She said to herself: ‘I will! I will!’ and the
Spirit entered in to her and she climbed to the top and threw a
handkerchief out of it just as Martin said fifty-seven. After that she
came down again, and received congratulations. Martin gave her his lucky
thripenny as a prize, and she was swollen with pride because she, the
youngest, had beaten them all; and in her exaltation she thought: ‘I can
do anything if I say I can,’ and tried again that evening to fly through
the power of faith but failed.
Afterwards when she was resavouring in secret the sweet applause they
had given her she remembered that Roddy had said nothing,--just looked
at her with twinkling eyes and a bit of his downward smile; and she
thought he had probably been laughing at her for her enthusiasm and her
pride. She felt disillusioned, and all at once remembered her bruises
and her ruined bloomers.
Roddy had no ambition. He did not feel at all humiliated if he failed to
meet a challenge. If he did not want to try he did not try: not because
he was afraid of failing, for he knew his power and so did everyone
else; and not because he was physically cautious, for fear was unknown
to him: it was because of the fundamental apathy in him. He lived in
bursts of energy followed by the most lethargic indifference.
When he chose to lead they all followed; but he did not care. He did not
care whether he was liked or not. He never sought out Martin, though he
accepted his devotion kindly and did not join in the sells arranged for
him. But then he never joined in anything: he was not interested in
personal relationships.
They were all a little afraid of him, and none of them--except Martin to
whom he was as a son--liked him very much.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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