England, My EnglandLawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
General
England, My England
Lawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Short stories, English
It had seemed as if he might lose Winifred. Winifred had _adored_ her
husband, and looked up to him as to something wonderful. Perhaps she
had expected in him another great authority, a male authority greater,
finer than her father’s. For having once known the glow of male power,
she would not easily turn to the cold white light of feminine
independence. She would hunger, hunger all her life for the warmth and
shelter of true male strength.
And hunger she might, for Egbert’s power lay in the abnegation of
power. He was himself the living negative of power. Even of
responsibility. For the negation of power at last means the negation of
responsibility. As far as these things went, he would confine himself
to himself. He would try to confine his own _influence_ even to
himself. He would try, as far as possible, to abstain from influencing
his children by assuming any responsibility for them. “A little child
shall lead them—” His child should lead, then. He would try not to make
it go in any direction whatever. He would abstain from influencing it.
Liberty!—
Poor Winifred was like a fish out of water in this liberty, gasping for
the denser element which should contain her. Till her child came. And
then she knew that she must be responsible for it, that she must have
authority over it.
But here Egbert silently and negatively stepped in. Silently,
negatively, but fatally he neutralized her authority over her children.
There was a third little girl born. And after this Winifred wanted no
more children. Her soul was turning to salt.
So she had charge of the children, they were her responsibility. The
money for them had come from her father. She would do her very best for
them, and have command over their life and death. But no! Egbert would
not take the responsibility. He would not even provide the money. But
he would not let her have her way. Her dark, silent, passionate
authority he would not allow. It was a battle between them, the battle
between liberty and the old blood-power. And of course he won. The
little girls loved him and adored him. “Daddy! Daddy!” They could do as
they liked with him. Their mother would have ruled them. She would have
ruled them passionately, with indulgence, with the old dark magic of
parental authority, something looming and unquestioned and, after all,
divine: if we believe in divine authority. The Marshalls did, being
Catholic.
And Egbert, he turned her old dark, Catholic blood-authority into a
sort of tyranny. He would not leave her her children. He stole them
from her, and yet without assuming responsibility for them. He stole
them from her, in emotion and spirit, and left her only to command
their behaviour. A thankless lot for a mother. And her children adored
him, adored him, little knowing the empty bitterness they were
preparing for themselves when they too grew up to have husbands:
husbands such as Egbert, adorable and null.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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