Fanny and the Servant ProblemJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Fanny and the Servant Problem
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Comedy plays; English drama; Married people -- Drama
DR. FREEMANTLE. Got them their title. Made the name of Bantock of
importance in the history of the Georges. Clever woman.
FANNY [_leaning over a chair_, _she is staring into the eyes of the first
Lady Bantock_]. I wonder what she would have done if she had ever got
herself into a really first-class muddle?
DR. FREEMANTLE. One thing’s certain. [_Fanny turns to him_.] She’d
have got out of it.
FANNY [_addresses the portrait_]. I do wish you could talk.
_Vernon bursts into the room_. _He has been riding_. _He throws aside
his hat and stick_.
VERNON. Hulloa! This is good of you. [_He shakes hands with the
Doctor_.] How are you? [_Without waiting for any reply_, _he goes to
Fanny_, _kisses her_.] Good morning, dear. How have you been getting on
together, you two? Has she been talking to you?
DR. FREEMANTLE. Oh, yes.
VERNON. Doesn’t she talk well? I say, what have you been doing to
yourself?
FANNY. Jane thought this style—[_with a gesture_]—more appropriate to
Lady Bantock.
VERNON. Um! Wonder if she’s right? [_To the Doctor_] What do you
think?
DR. FREEMANTLE. I think it a question solely for Lady Bantock.
VERNON. Of course it is. [_To Fanny_] You know, you mustn’t let them
dictate to you. Dear, good, faithful souls, all of them. But they must
understand that you are mistress.
FANNY [_she seizes eagerly at the chance_]. You might mention it to
them, dear. It would come so much better from you.
VERNON. No, you. They will take more notice of you.
FANNY. I’d so much rather you did it. [_To Dr. Freemantle_] Don’t you
think it would come better from him?
DR. FREEMANTLE [_laughs_]. I’m afraid you’ll have to do it yourself.
VERNON. You see, dear, it might hurt them, coming from me. It would
seem like ingratitude. Mrs. Bennet—Why, it wasn’t till I began to ask
questions that I grasped the fact that she _wasn’t_ my real mother. As
for old Bennet, ever since my father died—well, I hardly know how I could
have got on without him. It was Charles Bennet that taught me to ride; I
learned my letters sitting on Jane’s lap.
FANNY. Yes. Perhaps I had better do it myself.
VERNON. I’m sure it will be more effective. Of course I shall support
you.
FANNY. Thank you. Oh, by the by, dear, I shan’t be able to go with you
to-day.
VERNON. Why not?
FANNY. I’ve rather a headache.
VERNON. Oh, I’m so sorry. Oh, all right, we’ll stop at home. I’m not
so very keen about it.
FANNY. No, I want you to go, dear. Your aunts are looking forward to
it. I shall get over it all the sooner with everybody out of the way.
VERNON. Well, if you really wish it.
_The Misses Wetherell steal in_. _They are dressed for driving_. _They
exchange greetings with the Doctor_.
FANNY. You know you promised to obey. [_Tickles his nose with a
flower_.]
VERNON [_laughing—to the Doctor_]. You see what it is to be married?
DR. FREEMANTLE [_laughs_]. Very trying.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account