Fanny and the Servant ProblemJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Fanny and the Servant Problem
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Comedy plays; English drama; Married people -- Drama
_They take their places side by side on the settee_.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL [_to her sister_, _with a pat of the hand_].
In good time. It’s so nice to have her young. I wonder if anybody’ll
come this afternoon.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL [_to Fanny_]. You see, dear, most of the county
people are still in town.
FANNY [_who is pouring out tea_]. I’m not grumbling.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. Oh, you’ll like them, dear. The
Cracklethorpes especially. [_To her sister for confirmation_] Bella
Cracklethorpe is so clever.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. And the Engells. She’ll like the Engells.
All the Engell girls are so pretty. [_Fanny brings over two cups of
tea_.] Thank you, dear.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL [_as she takes her cup—patting Fanny’s hand_].
And they’ll like you, dear, _all_ of them.
FANNY [_returning to table_]. I hope so.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. It’s wonderful, dear—you won’t mind my saying
it?—how you’ve improved.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Of course it was such a change for you. And
at first [_turns to her sister_] we were a little anxious about her,
weren’t we?
_Fanny has returned to them with the cake-basket_.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL [_as she takes a piece_]. Bennet [_she lingers
on the name as that of an authority_] was saying only yesterday that he
had great hopes of you.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL [_Fanny is handing the basket to her_]. Thank
you, dear.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. I told Vernon. He was _so_ pleased.
FANNY. _Vernon_ was?
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. He attaches so much importance to Bennet’s
opinion.
FANNY. Um. I’m glad I appear to be giving satisfaction. [_She has
returned to her seat at the table_.] I suppose when you go to town, you
take the Bennets with you?
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL [_surprised at the question_]. Of course, dear.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Vernon didn’t wish to go this year. He
thought you would prefer—
FANNY. I was merely thinking of when he did. Do you ever go abroad for
the winter? So many people do, nowadays.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. We tried it once. But there was nothing for
dear Vernon to do. You see, he’s so fond of hunting.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL [_to her sister_]. And then there will be his
Parliamentary duties that he will have to take up now.
_Fanny rises_, _abruptly_.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. You’re not ill, dear?
FANNY. No. Merely felt I wanted some air. You don’t mind, do you?
[_She flings a casement open_.]
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Not at all, dear. [_To her sister_] It
_is_ a bit close.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. One could really do without fires.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. If it wasn’t for the evenings.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. And then, of course, the cold weather might
come again. One can never feel safe until—
_The door opens_. _Dr. Freemantle enters_, _announced by Bennet_. _The
old ladies go to rise_. _He stops them_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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