Fanny and the Servant ProblemJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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Fanny and the Servant Problem
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Comedy plays; English drama; Married people -- Drama
BENNET [_his coolness seems to have deserted him_. _His voice is
trembling_]. Obey her ladyship’s orders, both of you. Leave the rest to
me. [_Honoria and Jane busy themselves_, _with Ernest setting the room
to rights_.] May I speak with your ladyship?
FANNY. Certainly.
BENNET. Alone, I mean.
FANNY. I see no need.
BENNET [_her firmness takes him aback_. _He expected to find her
defiance disappear with the cause of it_. _But pig-headed_, _as all
Bennets_, _her opposition only drives him on_]. Your ladyship is not
forgetting the alternative?
_The Misses Wetherell have been watching the argument much as the babes
in the wood might have watched the discussion between the two robbers_.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL [_in terror_]. Bennet! you’re not going to give
notice!
BENNET. What my duty may be, I shall be able to decide after I have
spoken with her ladyship—alone.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Dear! You will see him?
FANNY. I am sorry. I have not the time.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. No. Of course. [_Appealing to Bennet for
mercy_] Her ladyship is tired. To-morrow—
FANNY [_interrupting_]. Neither to-morrow—nor any other day. [_Vernon
enters_, _followed by Newte_. _She advances to meet them_.] You’ve just
missed some old friends of yours. [_She shakes hands with Newte_.]
VERNON. So it seems. We were hoping to have been in time. [_To Newte_]
The mare came along pretty slick, didn’t she?
BENNET [_he has remained with his look fixed all the time on Fanny_].
May I speak with your lordship a moment—in private?
VERNON. Now?
BENNET. It is a matter that needs to be settled now. [_It is the tone
of respectful authority he has always used towards the lad_.]
VERNON. Well, if it’s as pressing as all that I suppose you must. [_He
makes a movement towards the door_. _To Newte_] Shan’t be long.
FANNY. One moment. [_Vernon stops_.] I may be able to render the
interview needless. Who is mistress of this house?
VERNON. Who is mistress?
FANNY. Who is mistress of your house?
VERNON. Why, you are, of course.
FANNY. Thank you. [_She turns to Bennet_] Please tell Mrs. Bennet I
want her.
BENNET. I think if your lordship—
FANNY. At once. [_She is looking at him_. _He struggles—looks at
Vernon_. _But Vernon is evidently inclined to support Fanny_. _Bennet
goes out_. _She crosses and seats herself at the desk_. _She takes from
a drawer some neatly folded papers_. _She busies herself with figures_.]
VERNON [_he crosses to his Aunts_]. Whatever’s the matter?
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. She is excited. She has had a very trying
time.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Bennet didn’t like the idea of her receiving
them.
NEWTE. It was that minx Judy’s doing. They’ll have the rough side of my
tongue when I get back—all of them.
VERNON. What does she want with Mrs. Bennet?
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. I can’t think.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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