Father Tom and the Pope : $b Or, a night in the VaticanFerguson, Samuel
Religion
Father Tom and the Pope : $b Or, a night in the Vatican
Ferguson, Samuel
Catholic Church -- Fiction; Christian fiction; Clergy -- Fiction; Popes -- Fiction
"Habesne id quod Anglice vocamus, a looking-glass," says his Riv'rence.
"Immo, habeo speculum splendidissimum subther operculum pyxidis hujus
starnutatoriæ," says the Pope, pulling out a beautiful goold snuff-box,
wid a looking-glass in under the lid; "Subther operculum pyxidis hujus
starnutatorii--no--starnutatoriæ--quam dono accepi ab Archi-duce
Austhriaco siptuagisima prætheritâ," says he; as much as to say that
he got the box in a prisint from the Queen of Spain last Lint, if I
rightly remimber.
Well, Father Tom laughed like to burst. At last says he, "Pather
Sancte," says he, "sub errore jaces. 'Looking-glass' apud nos habet
significationem quamdam peculiarem ex tempore diei dependentem"--there
was a sthring ov accusatives for yez!--"nam mane speculum sonat,"
says he, "post prandium vero mat--mat--mat"--sorra be in me but I
disremimber the classic appellivation ov the same article. Howandiver,
his Riv'rence went on explaining himself in such a way as no scholar
could mistake. "Vesica mea," says he, "ab illo ultimo eversore
distenditur, donec similis est rumpere. Verbis apertis," says he,
"Vesthræ Sanctitatis præsentia salvata, aquam facere valde desidhero."
"Ho, ho, ho!" says the Pope, grabbing up his box; "si inquinavisses
meam pyxidem, excimnicari debuisses. Hillo, Anthony," says he to his
head butler, "fetch Misther Maguire a----"
"You spoke first!" says his Riv'rence, jumping off his sate: "You spoke
first in the vernacular. I take Misther Anthony to witness," says he.
"What else would you have me to do?" says the Pope, quite dogged like
to see himself bate thataway at his own waypons. "Sure," says he,
"Anthony wouldn't undherstand a B from a bull's foot, if I spoke to him
any other way."
"Well, then," says his Riv'rence, in considheration ov the needcessity,
says he, "I'll let you off for this time; but mind, now, afther I
say _præstho_, the first of us that spakes a word of English is the
hare--_præstho_!"
Neither ov them spoke for near a minit, considhering wid themselves
how they wor to begin sich a great thrial ov shkill. At last says the
Pope--the blessed man! only think how 'cute it was ov him!--"Domine
Maguire," says he, "valde desidhero, certiorem fieri de significatione
istius verbi _eversor_ quo jam jam usus es"--(well, surely I _am_ the
boy for the Latin!)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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