First Love: A Novel. Vol. 2 of 3Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
General
First Love: A Novel. Vol. 2 of 3
Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
Fiction
“Because he asked her to marry him, when they were in the cottage this
morning! She told me so herself, just before I came up to dress for
dinner, you know.” Julia asked no more questions; nor did she utter
another word that night. Frances went on explaining about Lord and Lady
Arandale knowing nothing of the matter, as yet, and what Lady Susan
meant to do to obtain their consent, &c.; but having the conversation
all to herself, she soon began to articulate slowly and with frequent
unnecessary pauses, and, finally, fell asleep: upon which, Julia began
to draw her hitherto suppressed sighs audibly. She wept for a time
with bitterness. She thought for hours. When she recollected looks or
words of tenderness she wept afresh; but, when she called to mind such
circumstances as Edmund’s having, at any time, taken her hand in his, or
pressed it to his lips, she blushed till her cheeks seemed to burn, and
wondered how she could ever have permitted any thing so very wrong: she
had always called him brother Edmund, certainly; but she ought to have
remembered that he was not really her brother. She then asked herself the
following startling questions:—If her feelings for Edmund and her conduct
towards him had hitherto been guided by the friendship of a sister, why
should they not be still the same? what change had taken place in their
relative situations? This candid mode of treating the subject puzzled her
not a little. At length she tried to persuade herself that friendship,
or even sisterly regard for one who loved their friend or sister
better than any one else in the world, was a very different thing from
friendship for one who felt a stronger affection for some other object.
“And does Edmund, then, really love Lady Susan better than he loves me?”
Her tears now flowed again, and, wearied out, she fell asleep, without
having come to any conclusion but that she was wretched, and that all the
recollections which, hitherto, had given her pleasure, now gave her pain.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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