Seems all right to me and seems all right to you. But it's the police what you and I have got to think of. Will it seem all right to them? CALLER Oh, for heaven's sake-- LABORER Ah! CALLER What a hopeless fool you are. LABORER Ah! CALLER Look here. LABORER Ah, I got you there, mister. CALLER Look here, for goodness sake don't go. LABORER Ah! (_Exit_) [_Enter the Clerk._ CALLER Excuse me, sir. Excuse my asking you, but, as you see, I am without a hat. I shall be extraordinarily obliged to you if you would be so very good as to get it for me. Pretend you have come to wind the clocks, you know. I left it in the drawing-room of this house, half under the long sofa, the far end. CLERK Oh, er--all right, only-- CALLER Thanks so much, I am immensely indebted to you. Just say you've come to wind the clocks, you know. CLERK I--er--don't think I'm very good at winding clocks, you know. CALLER Oh, that's all right, just stand in front of the clock and fool about with it. That's all they ever do. I must warn you there's a lady in the room. CLERK Oh! CALLER But that's all right, you know. Just walk past up to the clock. CLERK But I think, if you don't mind, as there's someone there-- CALLER Oh, but she's quite young and very, very beautiful and-- CLERK Why don't you get it yourself? CALLER That is impossible. CLERK Impossible? CALLER Yes, I have sprained my ankle. CLERK Oh! Is it bad? CALLER Yes, very bad indeed. CLERK I don't mind trying to carry you up. CALLER No, that would be worse. My foot has to be kept on the ground. CLERK But how will you get home? CALLER I can walk all right on the flat. CLERK I'm afraid I have to be going on. It's rather later than I thought. CALLER But for goodness sake don't leave me. You can't leave me here like this without a hat. CLERK I'm afraid I must, it's later than I thought. (_Exit_) [_Enter the Poet._ CALLER Excuse me, sir. Excuse my stopping you. But I should be immensely obliged to you if you would do me a very great favor. I have unfortunately left my hat behind while calling at this house. It is half under the long sofa, at the far end. If you could possibly be so kind as to pretend you have come to tune the piano and fetch my hat for me I should be enormously grateful to you. POET But why cannot you get it for yourself? CALLER I cannot. POET If you would tell me the reason perhaps I could help you. CALLER I cannot. I can never enter that house again. POET If you have committed a murder, by all means tell me. I am not sufficiently interested in ethics to wish to have you hanged for it. CALLER Do I look like a murderer? POET