Friendly Visiting among the Poor: A Handbook for Charity WorkersRichmond, Mary Ellen
General
Friendly Visiting among the Poor: A Handbook for Charity Workers
Richmond, Mary Ellen
Friendly visiting
The first thing, in dealing with an individual case of drunkenness, is
to find out its history. Is it the cause of poverty and misfortune, or
have poverty and misfortune caused it? Is there an inherited tendency
to drink, or did the habit originate in some other bad personal habit?
Is bad health the cause? Has unhealthy or dangerous employment
anything to do with it? Is bad home cooking one of the causes? Some
one has said that the best temperance lecturer is the properly filled
dinner-pail. Worry from lack of work, and the need of some warm
stimulant after exposure, are frequent causes; and they are both
removable with friendly help. A man who is honestly trying to break
himself of the drink habit {60} deserves all the patience, sympathy,
and resourcefulness at our command.
When a man is sensitive and proud, the visitor can often be most
helpful by simply showing his sympathy. "A travelling salesman who
became addicted to drink lost a good situation through this habit. He
had a wife and seven children, all the children being too young to earn
anything. The wife was very brave and supported the family as long as
she was able. When the case came to the Charity Organization Society
the rent was in arrears and the landlord threatening. We sent a
gentleman as our friendly visitor in the case, and after great
persistence and repeated failures he succeeded in keeping the head of
the family sober for a few days. The man was proud, and much hurt at
having to accept charity, but his family was suffering, and there was
no alternative. The aid was provided in so delicate a manner that the
man's heart was touched, and he became very grateful to the visitor for
his unflagging and kindly interest. They spent their evenings together
frequently. The man began to drink less, at last stopped altogether,
and {61} now has secured permanent work and is doing well." [8]
There is diversity of opinion as to the value of pledges. It would
seem unwise, however, when a man has broken a pledge, to encourage him
to renew it. Let him try a promise to himself, and prove that he can
be a man without artificial props.
In more stubborn cases the law must be invoked. Sometimes it is well
to try several remedies at once, asking the police to threaten arrest,
following this up at once with an invitation to join some temperance
society (preferably one connected with the man's church), and trying at
the same time to substitute some new interest. Milder measures
failing, it will sometimes be necessary to cut off all supplies of
relief, and, this again failing, to take steps to protect wife and
children from the brutalizing influence of the man by breaking up the
home.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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