Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and PictureCox, Palmer
General
Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and Picture
Cox, Palmer
Canadian wit and humor
For several days thereafter he was known in the neighborhood as a “high
flier.” With a pining maw he would sit upon some heaven-kissing crag,
and with drooping head watch the fleecy flocks grazing in the green
valley below. He found it difficult, however, to cloy the hungry edge of
appetite by bare imagination of a feast, and, emboldened by want, began
to drop to a lower level when flying across the fields.
Yesterday, as mutton was out of the question, he resolved to try his
beak upon some tougher viand, and while in the vicinity of the village,
he swooped down upon a little old woman who was gathering chips in front
of her cottage.
The poor old body had not the least warning of the vulture’s approach.
As she stooped in the act of picking fuel enough to cook her evening
meal he dropped upon her like an arrow.
[Illustration: THE OLD LADY’S ASCENT.]
Fastening his powerful talons in the strong material of her
loose-fitting garments, he spread abroad his mighty wings and began to
haul her heavenward. The astonishment, anxiety and indescribable antics
of the poor old lady when she found herself slowly but surely leaving
_terra firma_ by an unknown agency were indeed terrible to witness.
She knew not whether it was a gold-tinseled angel, or an iron-rusted
demon, that was thus, in open day, and while she was yet in the flesh,
unceremoniously translating her to some remote planet; she had no means
of discovering; she was only certain she was going—that her direction
was onward and upward. Her favorite hollyhock tickled her nose as she
swept over her little garden, and the clothes-line, that for a moment
seemed to baffle the vulture’s flight, was now stretching beneath.
She deployed her feet, regardless of appearances, first to the right,
then to the left, above and below, vainly endeavoring to come in contact
with something that would give her an inkling of what was responsible
for this mysterious movement. There was a vague uncertainty about the
whole proceeding well calculated to alarm her. Even though she succeeded
in shaking herself loose, her fall would now be fearful, and each moment
was adding to the danger. What could I do? I was powerless to save. I
had no gun, and even if I had there would have been some grave doubts in
my mind as to the propriety of firing, as I generally shoot low, and
such an error in my aim could hardly have proved otherwise than
disastrous.
There was no use striving to make the bird loosen his hold by hooting.
If there had been any virtue in that sort of demonstration the old woman
would hardly have been raised above the eaves of her shanty, for she was
screaming in a manner that would have made a Modoc blush. The only thing
that suggested itself, and that rather hurriedly, was to get out my
pencil and paper and take a sketch as she appeared passing over her
cottage in the vulture’s talons.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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