C. M. Oettinger gives in his magazine a humorous and striking characteristic of the European capitals. Amsterdam trades; Aachen conspires; Berlin talks fashions; Brussels debates; Dresden wonders; Dublin begs; Edinburgh dreams; Florence stares; Frankfort counts; Genoa laughs; Hamburg eats; Hanover sleeps; Cassel snores; Constantinople bathes; Copenhagen adorns; Leipzig reads (but only the newspaper); Lisbon works; Madrid smokes; Mainz waits for the Cardinal; Manchester packs; Mannheim swears; Marseilles sings; Munich drinks beer; Naples perspires; Palermo fans; Paris chats; Pesth talks; St. Petersburg is silent; Rome prays; Stockholm is having a good time; Turin dresses up; Venice loves; Warsaw sighs; Vienna digests. That Depends Lady (at a mountain resort):—“As a member of the Alpine Club, you can tell me, I suppose, how many feet this mountain is above the level of the sea?” Gentleman:—“That—that is difficult to ascertain, as the height changes with the tide.” On a Steamer Between Lauterburg and Worms Stranger (who sees the Rhine for the first time and has been told that the famous Rhine wine comes from these parts):—“Ah, how delighted I am to see this great river, from which they make that fine Rhine wine you get here!” Effective 1st letter. Wife (from a summer resort):—“How I long for a few lines from your hand!” (No answer.) 2d letter. “I am very much worried about you, do write!” (No answer.) 3d letter. “I am devoured with anxiety about you; it will kill me!” (No answer.) 4th letter. “If I do not hear from you by to-morrow, I shall come home!” Telegram. “Stay where you are. I am well and happy! Your husband.” Counted Everything Twice Guest (to his host):—“Look here, Herr Ochsenwirth, my bill cannot possibly be so much. There must be a mistake.” Host:—“Not possible, sir, since I counted everything twice.” She Struck It Tourist (to a farmer’s wife):—“Well, my good woman, where is your husband to-day? Isn’t he at home?” “No, he’s up on the Alps.” “Aren’t you afraid to be all alone?” “Goodness no! I am always glad when he is gone, then I have some peace!” “But, my dear woman, you ought not to say that! Man and wife belong together. I am always glad when my wife is at home.” “Yes, while you are gadding about!” Constant Change Stranger:—“How high is this mountain?” Guide:—“My father always said eight thousand five hundred feet. But you can’t depend upon that; father died thirty-eight years ago, and since that time lots of things have changed.” On the Alps “Look here, guide; on that signpost down below, it says it takes one hour to come up here, and it has taken us almost three!” “I know that, but if we put that on the signpost not a decent feller would come up here.” A Striking Resemblance Countess (who has returned to her estate in the mountains for the summer):—“Well, Sepp, are you all glad to see me back again?”