"I mean did you form any opinion of your own concerning your Vocation?"
"No. My opinion concerning my Vocation, such as it was and is, had been
formed when I was a boy of fifteen. I was very fervent about that time.
I frankly admit that I played the fool from seventeen to twenty, sowed
my wild oats if you like. But I never relinquished my Divine Gift. I
just neglected it, and said 'Domani' like any Roman. And at twenty-four
I became extremely earnest about it. Yes, my opinion was as now,
unchanged, unchangeable."
"Continue," the cardinal said.
"A year after I left Maryvale, the Archbishop of Agneda was instigated
by one of his priests, a Varsity man who knew me well, to invite me to
volunteer for his archdiocese. I was only too glad. His Grace sent me
to St. Andrew's College in Rome. The priest who recommended me, and
Canon Dugdale, assured me that, in return for my services, my expenses
would be borne by the archbishop. They never were. I was more than one
hundred and twenty pounds out of pocket. After four months in College
I was expelled suddenly and brutally. No reason ever has been given
to me; and I never have been aware of a reason which could justify
so atrocious an outrage. My archbishop maintained absolute silence.
I did hear it said that I had no Vocation. That was the gossip of my
fellow-students, immature cubs mostly, hybrid larrikins given to false
quantities and nasal cacophonies. I took, and take, no account of such
gossip. If my legitimate superiors had had grounds for their action,
grounds which they durst expose to day-light; and, if they frankly
had stated the same to me, I believe I should have given very little
trouble. As it is, I am of course a thorn, or a pest, or a fire-brand,
or a rodent and purulent ulcer--vous en faites votre choix. The case
is a mystery to me, inexplicable, except by an hypothesis connected
with the character of the rector of St. Andrew's College. I remember
the Marquess of Mountstuart reading a leading article about him out
of _The Scotsman_ to me in 1886, and remarking that he was 'an awful
little liar.' But perhaps the right reverend gentleman is known to Your
Eminency?"
"Well known, Mr. Rose, well known. And now tell me of your subsequent
proceedings."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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