Yosef had the second capacity, the classifying. He not only had it, but
he knew that he had it; this conviction preserved him in life from many
mistakes, and gave a certain balance to his wishes and capacities. He
never undertook a thing that for him was impossible. He calculated with
himself. And, finally, he had much enthusiasm, which in his case might
have been called persistence in science. Having a mind which was fond of
examining everything soberly, he wanted to see everything well; but to
see well one must know thoroughly. He was unable to guess, he wished to
know.
This was why he never learned anything half-way. As a spider surrounds
a fly, he surrounded his subject of investigation diligently with a
network of thought, he drew it into himself; it might be said that he
sucked it out of the place where it was and finally digested it. His
thoughts had also a high degree of activity. He desired, a natural
attribute of youth. He was free of conceit. Frequently he rejected an
opinion accepted by all, specially for this reason, that it had
importance behind it. It must be confessed, however, that in this case
he endeavored to find everything that was against it; when he did not
find enough, he yielded. He had, besides, no little energy in thinking
and doing.
All this composed his strength, his weapon, partly acquired, partly
natural. We forgot to say that he had in addition two thousand rubles.
When he had estimated these supplies, he betook himself to medicine.
But the greater the enthusiasm with which he betook himself to his
specialty the more was he disenchanted at first. He wanted to know, but
now only memory was required. In that case any man might succeed; at
least it was a question of memory and will, not of reason. One needed a
memory of the eyes, a memory of the hands; one had to put into the head
seriously the first and second and tenth, from time to time like grain
into a storehouse. That was well-nigh the work of a handicraftsman; the
mental organism gained no profit from these supplies, for it did not
digest nor work them over. Nutrition was lacking there. The philosophy
of the physical structure of organisms may be compared in subtlety and
in immensity of result with all others; but Yosef was only beginning to
become acquainted with the organism itself; indications as to whether
there existed any philosophy of those sciences were not given him thus
far.
But having once begun he had to wade farther. He waded. But the
technical side of scientific labor was disagreeable, thankless, full of
hidden difficulties and unexpected secrets, frequently obscure, often
barely visible, most frequently repelling, always costing labor. One
might have said that nature had declared war against the human mind at
this stage. Yosef struggled with these moral difficulties, but he
advanced. That technic had a gloomy side also in his eye: it had an evil
effect morally.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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