He waved his arm to keep her off. “I know what you wish of me. You wish
to lead me back to work and renunciation, but I cannot. Not now, not
now!”
The pallid Spirit of Fasting smiled ever more mildly. “You are
innocent, Petter Nord. Do not grieve so over what you have not caused!
Was not Edith kind to you? Did you not see that she had forgiven you?
Come with me to your work! Live, as you have lived!”
The boy cried more vehemently. “Is it any better for me, do you think,
that I have killed just her who has been kind to me, her, who cares for
me? Had it not been better if I had murdered some one whom I wished to
murder. I must make amends. I must save her life. I cannot think of
work now.”
“Oh, you madman,” said the Spirit of Fasting, “the festival of
reparation which you wish to celebrate is the greatest audacity of
all.”
Then Petter Nord rebelled absolutely against his friend of many years.
He scoffed at her. “What have you made me believe?” he said. “That you
were a tiresome and peevish old woman with arms full of small, harmless
twigs. You are a sorceress of life. You are a monster. You are
beautiful, and you are terrible. You yourself know no bounds nor
limits; why should I know them? How can you preach fasting, you, who
wish to deluge me with such an overmeasure of sorrow? What are the
festivals I have celebrated compared to those you are continually
preparing for me! Begone with your pallid moderation! Now I wish to be
as mad as yourself.”
Not one step could he take towards the big town. Neither could he turn
directly round and again go the length of the one street in the
village; he took the path up the mountain, climbed to the enchanted
pine-wood, and wandered about among the stiff, prickly young trees,
until a friendly path led him to the graveyard. There he found a
hiding-place in a corner where the pines grew high as masts, and there
he threw himself weary unto death on the ground.
He almost lost consciousness. He did not know if time passed or if
everything stood still. But after a while steps were heard, and he woke
to a feeble consciousness. He seemed to have been far, far away. He saw
a funeral procession draw near, and instantly a confused thought rose
in him. How long had he lain there? Was Edith dead already? Was she
looking for him here? Was the corpse in the coffin hunting for its
murderer? He shook and sweated. He lay well hidden in the dark pine
thicket; but he trembled for what might happen if the corpse found him.
He bent aside the branches and looked out. A hunted deserter could not
have spied more wildly after his pursuers.
The funeral was that of a poor man. The attendance was small. The
coffin was lowered without wreaths into the grave. There was no sign of
tears on any of the faces. Petter Nord had still enough sense to see
that this could not be Edith Halfvorson’s funeral train.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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