Russia -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Drama; Russian drama -- Translations into English
SASHA. It is impossible to talk to you. [She looks at a picture on the
wall] How well those dogs are drawn! Were they done from life?
IVANOFF. Yes, from life. And this whole romance of ours is a tedious
old story; a man loses heart and begins to go down in the world; a girl
appears, brave and strong of heart, and gives him a hand to help him
to rise again. Such situations are pretty, but they are only found in
novels and not in real life.
SASHA. No, they are found in real life too.
IVANOFF. Now I see how well you understand real life! My sufferings seem
noble to you; you imagine you have discovered in me a second Hamlet;
but my state of mind in all its phases is only fit to furnish food for
contempt and derision. My contortions are ridiculous enough to make any
one die of laughter, and you want to play the guardian angel; you want
to do a noble deed and save me. Oh, how I hate myself to-day! I feel
that this tension must soon be relieved in some way. Either I shall
break something, or else--
SASHA. That is exactly what you need. Let yourself go! Smash something;
break it to pieces; give a yell! You are angry with me, it was foolish
of me to come here. Very well, then, get excited about it; storm at me;
stamp your feet! Well, aren't you getting angry?
IVANOFF. You ridiculous girl!
SASHA. Splendid! So we are smiling at last! Be kind, do me the favour of
smiling once more!
IVANOFF. [Laughing] I have noticed that whenever you start reforming
me and saving my soul, and teaching me how to be good, your face grows
naive, oh so naive, and your eyes grow as wide as if you were looking at
a comet. Wait a moment; your shoulder is covered with dust. [He brushes
her shoulder] A naive man is nothing better than a fool, but you women
contrive to be naive in such a way that in you it seems sweet, and
gentle, and proper, and not as silly as it really is. What a strange way
you have, though, of ignoring a man as long as he is well and happy,
and fastening yourselves to him as soon as he begins to whine and go
down-hill! Do you actually think it is worse to be the wife of a strong
man than to nurse some whimpering invalid?
SASHA. Yes, it is worse.
IVANOFF. Why do you think so? [Laughing loudly] It is a good thing
Darwin can't hear what you are saying! He would be furious with you for
degrading the human race. Soon, thanks to your kindness, only invalids
and hypochondriacs will be born into the world.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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