Adultery -- Fiction; Artists -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction; Painters -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
“It was my case in the beginning here. I was overwhelmed by Rome. Then
I saw you passing by, tall and fair and a stranger. I did not pay any
attention to Francesca then—not till we were in the tavern. When I sat
there with you, who were all strange to me—it was really the first time
such a thing happened to me. Up till then my association with strangers
had been only an occasional meeting on my way between school and home. I
was confused; it seemed impossible to speak to people. I almost longed
for home and all it meant—and I longed for Rome as I knew it from hearsay
and from pictures. I thought I could not settle down to anything but look
at pictures made by others—read books other men had written—made the
best use of the work of others and live in a world of fiction. I felt
desperately lonely among you. You once said something about being lonely;
I understand now what you meant.
“Do you see that tower over there? I went there yesterday. It is the
remnant of a fortress from the Middle Ages, from feudal times. There
are a good many of them in the city and round about. You see sometimes
an almost windowless wall built in between the houses in a street. It
is a bit of the Rome of the robber barons. We know comparatively little
about that time, but I am very interested in it at present. I find in
the records names of dead people, of whom sometimes nothing is known
but their names, and I long to know more about them. I dream of Rome in
the Middle Ages, when they fought in the street with fierce cries, and
the town was full of robber-castles, where their womenfolk were shut
up—daughters of those wild beasts and with their blood in their veins.
Sometimes they broke away from their prison and mixed in the life, such
as it was, inside the red-black walls. We know so little about those
times, and the German professors do not take great interest in them,
because they cannot be remade so as to convey abstract ideas; they are
simply naked facts.
“What a mighty current of life has washed over this country!—breaking
into billows round every spot with town and castle on it. And yet the
mountains rise above it bare and desolate. Think of the endless number
of ruins here in the Campagna only; of the stacks of books written on
the history of Italy—and on the history of the whole world for that
matter—and think of the hosts of dead people we know. Yet the result
of all these waves of life, rolling one after the other, is very, very
small. It is all so wonderful!
“I have talked to you so often and you have talked to me; yet I don’t
really know you. You are just as much a mystery to me as that tower.—I
wish you could see how your hair shines where you are standing now. It is
glorious.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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