_Cook._ "WELL, MA'AM, AFTER I'M DONE WORK, I AM VERY FOND OF SINGING AND PLAYING ON THE ACCORDIUM, AND MISSUS HADN'T USED TO LIKE IT--AND SO I GIVE NOTICE!"] [Illustration: _DOMESTIC SANITARY REGULATIONS._] [Illustration: _A MOST ALARMING SWELLING_!] [Illustration: _INFORMATION._ "JEMMY! WHAT'S A STALL AT THE HOPERA?" "WELL, I CAN'T SAY, NOT FOR CERTAIN; BUT I SUPPOSE IT'S WHERE THEY SELLS THE HAPPLES, HORANGES, GINGER BEER AND BISKITS."] [Illustration: _SELF-ESTEEM._ _Gentleman._ "SIXTY POUNDS A YEAR!! WHY, MAN, ARE YOU AWARE THAT SUCH A SUM IS MORE THAN IS FREQUENTLY GIVEN TO A CURATE?" _Flunkey._ "OH, YES, SIR; BUT THEN YOU WOULD HARDLY, I HOPE, GO FOR TO COMPARE ME WITH THE HINFERIOR ORDER OF CLERGY."] [Illustration: _GROSS INSULT._ _University "Man" having spent a few days in Town, at the end of Term is about to go Home._ _Waiter (condescendingly)._ "GOING HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, SIR?" _University_ MAN (_hurling himself into Hansom_). "EUSTON SQUA-A-A-RE!"] [Illustration: _CANDID._ _Old Gent._ "THOMAS, I HAVE ALWAYS PLACED THE GREATEST CONFIDENCE IN YOU. NOW TELL ME, THOMAS, HOW IS IT THAT MY BUTCHER'S BILLS ARE SO LARGE, AND THAT I ALWAYS HAVE SUCH BAD DINNERS?" _Thomas._ "REALLY, SIR, I DON'T KNOW, FOR I'M SURE WE NEVER HAVE ANYTHING NICE IN THE KITCHEN THAT WE DON'T ALWAYS SEND _SOME_ OF IT UP INTO THE PARLOUR!"] [Illustration: _DE GUS-TIBUS._ _Uncle._ "SO, YOU'VE BEEN TO THE CRYSTAL PALACE--HAVE YOU, GUS?" _Gus._ "YES, UNCLE." _Uncle._ "WELL. NOW, I'LL GIVE YOU SIXPENCE IF YOU WILL TELL ME WHAT YOU ADMIRED MOST IN THAT TEMPLE OF INDUSTRY?" _Gus. (unhesitatingly)._ "VEAL AND 'AM PIES, AND THE GINGER BEER. GIVE US THE SIXPENCE."] [Illustration: _AN ENTHUSIASTIC FISHERMAN._ "WHAT A BORE! JUST LIKE MY LUCK. NO SOONER HAVE I GOT MY TACKLE READY, AND SETTLED DOWN TO A BOOK, THAN THERE COMES A CONFOUNDED BITE!"] [Illustration: _MELANCHOLY REVERSE OF FORTUNE._ "POOR SWEEPER, LADIES! RAILWAY DIRECTOR ONCE, LADIES!"] [Illustration: _A COUNTRY BALL._ _First Amiable Lady (very loud)._ "WHAT A REMARKABLY ODD SET OF PEOPLE ONE MEETS AT A PUBLIC BALL!" _Second Do._ "OH, VERY DROLL!" _Poor Little Swell._ "YETH; AND SO THWANGELY DRETHED!"] [Illustration: _A FACT._ _Flunkey (out of place)._ "THERE'S JUST ONE QUESTION I SHOULD LIKE TO ASK YOUR LADYSHIP--HAM I ENGAGED FOR WORK, OR HAM I ENGAGED FOR ORNAMENT?"] [Illustration: _RATHER AWKWARD FOR TOMKINS._ _Young Diana._ "I THINK, SIR, IF YOU WOULD BE SO GOOD AS TO GO FIRST, AND BREAK THE TOP RAIL, MY PONY WOULD GET OVER."] [Illustration: _AGRICULTURAL DISTRESS._ _Whip._ "HOLD HARD, GENTLEMEN! WARE WHEAT! WARE WHEAT!!" _Young Farmer._ "COME ON, GENTLEMEN. NEVER MIND THE WHEAT--IT'S ONLY THIRTY SHILLINGS A QUARTER!!"] [Illustration: _PROFESSOR BUCKWHEAT IMPRESSING THE AGRICULTURAL MIND._] [Illustration: _GOING "OUT" TO AN "AT HOME."_