_Arthur._ "DO YOU KNOW, FREDDY, THAT WE ARE ONLY MADE OF DUST!" _Freddy._ "ARE WE? THEN I'M SURE WE OUGHT TO BE VERY CAREFUL HOW WE PITCH INTO EACH OTHER SO, FOR FEAR WE MIGHT CRUMBLE EACH OTHER ALL TO PIECES!"] [Illustration: _THE DISAPPOINTED ONE._ _Lover._ "WHAT A BORE, JUST AS I WAS GOING TO POP THE QUESTION TO JENNY JONES, HERE'S MY NURSE COME FOR ME!"] [Illustration: _BROTHERS IN ARMS._] [Illustration: _ADDING INSULT TO INJURY._ NOBBS HAVING COME WITH HIS FAMILY TO THE SEA-SIDE FOR A LITTLE CHANGE OF SCENE, COMPLAINS THAT THEY HAVE BEEN TERRIBLY BITTEN BY--(BUT NO, WE WILL NOT MENTION THE HORRID CREATURES)--AND IS ADDRESSED THUS BY THE LODGING-HOUSE KEEPER: "THEN HALL I CAN SAY, SIR, HIS--THAT IF YOU'VE BEEN HILL-CONWENIENCED BY 'EM, YOU MUST 'A BROUGHT 'EM DOWN WITH YOU IN YOUR PORTMANTEL!"] [Illustration: _A BIT OF A BREEZE._ MR. WIGGINS HAS A FINE OPPORTUNITY OF DISPLAYING HIS POLITENESS AND ACTIVITY] [Illustration: _HORRIBLE QUESTION AFTER A GREENWICH DINNER._ _Foot-Boy._ "IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, COOK TOLD ME TO ASK YOU WHAT FISH YOU'D LIKE TO-DAY?"] [Illustration: _AWKWARD PREDICAMENT._ _Young Sparrow._ "OH, I'M SORRY TO TROUBLE YOU, UNCLE--BUT COULD YOU LEND ME A RAZOR? MY CONFOUNDED FELLOW HASN'T PACKED UP MY DRESSING-CASE!"] [Illustration: _ALARMING PROPOSITION._ _Oyster-Man_ (_to Hairy Gents_). "OYSTERS, SIR! YES, SIR! SHALL I TAKE YER BEARDS OFF?" [_Gents have an uncomfortable idea that they are being chaffed._ ] [Illustration: _EPIGRAMMATIC._ _Gentleman._ "LETS HAVE A BOILED MACKEREL." _Waiter._ "BILED, SIR! BETTER HAVE 'EM BRILED, SIR. IF THEY'RE BILED, THEY'RE SPILED, SIR!"] [Illustration: _A SKETCH AT A RAILWAY STATION._ _Respectable Citizen_ (_reads Placard_). "'_The Public are cautioned against Card-Sharpers, Gamblers, and Pickpockets._' * * * WHY, I THOUGHT SUCH PEOPLE WAS ALL DONE AWAY WITH. DIDN'T YOU, MO?"] [Illustration: _HI ART._ _Parent._ "I SHOULD LIKE YOU TO BE VERY PARTICULAR ABOUT HIS HAIR." _Photographic Artist (!)._ "OH, MUM, THE 'AIR IS HEASY ENOUGH! IT'S THE HI'S WHERE WE FIND THE DIFFICULTY."] [Illustration: _OUR LAZY CONTRIBUTOR._ "THE VERY IDEA OF WORK THIS BEAUTIFUL WEATHER IS REPUGNANT TO MY FEELINGS." [_Extract from our Young Friend * * *'s Letter._ ] [Illustration: _GOING OUT OF TOWN._ _Mary._ "IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, MISSUS SAY YOU MUST FIND ROOM FOR THIS IN YOUR PORTMANTEL."] [Illustration: _THE ROAD._ _Gent_ (_with much pride_). "THERE'S ONE THING, 'ARRY, AS ALWAYS STRIKES ME A GOING DOWN TO THE DARBY, AND THAT IS HOW THE NUMBER OF SPLENDID EQUIPAGES MUST ASTONISH THE FOREIGNER!"] [Illustration: _SERIOUS THING FOR BROWN_, WHO RATHER PRIDES HIMSELF UPON THE ELEGANT MANNER IN WHICH HE TAKES OFF HIS HAT. THIS TIME, HOWEVER, ALTHOUGH THE HAT IS REMOVED, THE LINING STICKS.] [Illustration: _BEAUTY IN DISTRESS._ _Gallant Swell_ (_who of course comes to the rescue_). "HAW! CAN I BE OF ANY SERVICE?"