_Boy._ "PLEASE, SIR, TELL ME THE TIME." _Crusty old Gent._ "YES, SIR--BED-TIME."] [Illustration: _SINGULAR OPTICAL DELUSION._ _Gentleman._ "THERE, LOVE: DO YOU SEE THAT STEAMER?" _Lady._ "OH, DISTINCTLY! THERE ARE TWO."] [Illustration: _THE NEW SCHOOL._ _Uncle (who is rather proud of his cellar)._ "NOW, GEORGE, MY BOY, THERE'S A GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE FOR YOU--DON'T GET SUCH STUFF AT SCHOOL, EH? EH? EH?" _George._ "H'M--AWFULLY SWEET! VERY GOOD SORT FOR LADIES--BUT I'VE ARRIVED AT A TIME OF LIFE, WHEN I CONFESS I LIKE MY WINE _DRY_!" (_Sensation._)] [Illustration: _DELICIOUS!_ HUNTING UNDER DIFFICULTIES.--A MOUNT IN THE MIDLANDS.] [Illustration: _A QUIET REBUKE._ _Fare (who has driven rather a hard bargain and is settling)._ "BUT WHY, MY GOOD MAN, DO YOU PUT THAT CLOTH OVER THE HORSE'S HEAD?" _Car-Driver._ "SHURE, YER HONOUR, THIN--I SHOULDN'T LIKE HIM TO SEE HOW LITTLE YE PAY FOR SUCH A HARD DAYS WOR-RK!"] [Illustration: _THE CONTEMPLATIVE MAN'S RECREATION._ _Brown (excited)._ "HI, JONES!--NET! NET! NET!--MAKE HASTE, OR I SHALL LOSE HIM!" _Jones (who is rather giddy and nervous)._ "EH!--AH!--RIGHT!--TO BE SURE!--YES!--I--I--I--I'M COMING--AS FAST--AS--OH DEAR!--AS POSSIBLE!"] [Illustration: _A CONTENTED MIND._ _Old Wurzel._ "WELL, MUSTER CHAWLES, SO YOU'VE BEEN A RIDING THE YOUNG UN.--HOW DOES HE GO?" _Muster Chawles._ "OH, SPLENDID! NEVER CARRIED BETTER IN MY LIFE! IT WAS HIS FIRST RUN, AND WE ONLY CAME DOWN FIVE TIMES!"] [Illustration: _HOUSEHOLD ECONOMY._ PATERFAMILIAS, WITH HIS USUAL PRUDENCE AND FORESIGHT, ORDERS A QUANTITY OF BEER OF THE OCTOBER BREWING. HE HAS JUST BEEN INFORMED THAT ALL THE BARRELS ARE "A-WORKIN' AND A-BUSTIN'!"] [Illustration: _THE HUMOUR OF THE STREETS._ _Butcher Boy (and Butcher Boys are so impudent)._ "NOW THEN, SWIPEY! ARE YOU GOING TO STOP THERE TILL YOU GET _FINE_, AFORE YOU _DRAW YOURSELF OFF_?"] [Illustration: _THE FASHION FOR NEXT SUMMER._ _Flora._ "THERE! I DON'T THINK THE STUPID MEN CAN LAUGH AT US NOW!"] [Illustration: _INNOCENT DELUSIONS._ _Georgina._ "DO YOU KNOW, DEAR, I'M SO UNHAPPY NOW DEAR CHARLES HAS GONE!" _Gertrude._ "AND I MISS DEAR PERCY DREADFULLY--I DO HOPE THEY'LL GET HOME SAFELY!"] [Illustration: _A HORSEDEALER'S LOGIC._ _Customer._ "WHY, YOU DON'T CALL _THAT_ A HUNTER, DO YOU?" _Dealer._ "WELL, SIR, I'LL TELL YOU ALL I KNOW ABOUT THE 'ORSE. HAD HIM DOWN FROM 'ORNCASTLE FAIR LAST WEEK--PUT JIMMY ON HIM, WOULDN'T 'ACK A YARD--PUT HIM IN THE BREAK, WOULDN'T DRAW A BOUNCE. NOW, THE 'ORSE NEVER COULD HAVE BEEN CREATED FOR NOTHING; SO HE MUST BE A HUNTER!"] [Illustration: _OYSTERS._ _Itinerant Oyster Man._ "NOW, THEN--HAVE ANOTHER DOZEN, IF YOU'VE GOT ANY MORE MONEY!!"] [Illustration: _QUITE EXHAUSTED._] [Illustration: _A GRIEVANCE._ _Testy Old Gent (to Butler)._ "CLARET! YES! PUT IT DOWN; AND PRAY, SIMPSON, DON'T BLOW UPON MY HEAD SO."] [Illustration: _IMPROVING THE TIME._