[Illustration: _THE COOK'S MORNING SERVICE._] [Illustration: _STUDIES OF CRINOLINE DURING AN EQUINOCTIAL GALE._] [Illustration: _HERO WORSHIP._ THE "KNEE PLUSH ULTRA" OF SENTIMENT.] [Illustration: _A JOLLY GAME._] [Illustration: _A FOREIGN INFLICTION._--No. I. AT THE DOOR PATERFAMILIAS IS EXPOSTULATING WITH AN ORGAN-GRINDER, WHO IS DEFYING HIM WITH EXTREME INSOLENCE, ALTERNATED WITH PERFORMANCES ON THE INSTRUMENT OF TORTURE. POLICEMAN (UNSEEN) IS IN THE KITCHEN, CONSIDERING WHETHER SUSAN'S COOKING OR MARY'S SAVINGS' BANK MONEY WOULD BE THE BETTER INVESTMENT.] [Illustration: No. II. IN A BED-ROOM A MOTHER IS TENDING A SICK BOY, WHO IS SUFFERING FROM NERVOUS FEVER.] [Illustration: _PARTRIDGE SHOOTING._ _Keeper (who has never seen a breech-loader)._ "I DON'T THINK WERRY MUCH OF 'IM; WHY HE'S BEEN AND BROKE HIS GUN THE WERRY FUST SHOT!"] [Illustration: _RATHER OSSY._ _Dealer._ "THERE, SIR! HE'S A RARE TOPPED UN. WHY, WHAT A MANE AND TAIL HE'S GOT! HE'D MAKE A CHARGER, HE WOULD!" _Mr. Green._ "BUT AIN'T HIS LEGS A LITTLE TOO THIN FOR HIS BODY?" _Dealer._ "THIN FOR HIS BODY! BLESS YER! YOU COME TO HACK HIM ABOUT FOR A FEW DAYS, HIS LEGS 'LL _FILL OUT_ ENOUGH, THEY WILL!"] [Illustration: _SERVANTGALISM IN AUSTRALIA.--A FACT._ _Domestic._ "IF YOU PLEASE, 'M, I HAVE AN HOUR TO SPARE, AND I'M A GOIN' TO TRY MY NEW 'ORSE!"] [Illustration: _A FANCY SCENE--WINNING THE GLOVES._ FROM THE GRAND PUGILISTIC BALLET OF THE FIGHT FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP, WHICH MIGHT, COULD, SHOULD, AND OUGHT TO BE PLAYED AT ONE OF THE OPERAS.] [Illustration: _COMPLIMENTARY._ _Farmer._ "MORNIN', MR. BLANK! NEVER SAW YOU GO SO WELL BEFORE." _Mr. Blank._ "WHY, WHAT DO YER MEAN? WE'VE NEVER FOUND A FOX!" _Farmer._ "AH! BUT I MEAN SO WELL FROM COVER TO COVER, YOU KNOW!"] [Illustration: _PUTTING HIS FOOT IN IT._ MR. SPENCER POFFINGTON MAKES A MORNING CALL. HE WILL WEAR AN EYE-GLASS--AND SKIPS LIKE LORD DUNDREARY--AND COMES TO GRIEF OVER A CROQUET IRON, TAKING A HEADER INTO THE ARMS OF LADY HONORIA BOUNCER!] [Illustration: _SCENE ON A BRIDGE IN PARIS._ NOW, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE MATTER HERE? WHY, ALPHONSE, IN A BOAT ON THE RIVER, HAS JUST CAUGHT A GOUJON ABOUT THE SIZE OF HIS LITTLE FINGER!] [Illustration: _TU QUOQUE._ _Human._ "HAH! YOU'D BE A NICE CUSTOMER TO MEET ON THE LOOSE, ANYWHERES AFTER DARK, YOU WOULD!"] [Illustration: _AT SCARBOROUGH._] [Illustration: _A SAGACIOUS CABBY._ "HANSOM, MISS! YES, MISS! CATTLE OR DOG SHOW?"] [Illustration: _READY WHEN WANTED OUR MILITIA VOLUNTEERS._] [Illustration: _IMPUDENCE._ _Old Gent._ "HOW MUCH?" _Hansom Cabman (boldly)._ "SIX SHILLINGS, SIR!" _Old Gent._ "WHAT! WHY HOW MANY MILES DO YOU CALL IT FROM TEMPLE BAR TO THE BANK?" _Cabman._ "OH! IF YOU WANT TO MAKE IT A MERE MERCAN-TILE TRANSACTION, YOU SHALL HAVE YOUR RIDE FOR NOTHING. ONLY DON'T GIT INTO AN ANSOM CAB AGAIN, THAT'S ALL." (_Old Gentleman is speechless with indignation and astonishment._)] [Illustration: _A DISTURBED IMAGINATION._